Hey Self, You Can Do This!

 The real truth is, I have fallen out of love since 2020 but I was holding back because I was afraid to be alone. I was afraid of losing you and the way I pictured you in my head after every break-up isn't reality. 

I should stop obsessing and fantasizing about you, May. I cannot stay in the past and must live on with the present. You have found love in someone else's arms. 

I know that it will take time for me to completely forget you but I should follow the "out-of-sight, out-of-mind" thing. I should also stop and control my ADHD by telling you things first. I have always been like that... I love how you would be the first one to know new things I've learned, work offers etc. I should stop it. 

I should stop analyzing and finding reasons why it didn't work out. You are right, my actions didn't relate to the words I have been saying. For I knew, the love wasn't there and the mind and the body were doing it out of habit and routine. 

You were my hard lesson, really you were.