Remnants of the Past

long overdue...

2012-02-04T17:25:00.002+08:00

A blast from the past, last year i was practically all around the Philippines. From North to South I've been there; whether it was a travel w/ my mom or w/ friends. everything went so fast, met new people along the way and sever old ties from those i thought were my friends. nevertheless, it was a wonderful year to me!

here's a quick look of my fantastic 2011!

a time line of my travel from January to December:

From Ilocos Norte to Ilocos Sur to Ilocos Norte, Batangas Outing w/ my CITI friends, Batanes my first Love, Tanay hay.... , Bohol yeah Bohol , Surigao/Siargao and lastly my Baguio Trip.

pagudpod

bangui turbine windmills

Laiya San Juan Batangas

Team Doc

Laiya

bojeador lighthouse

Batanes, my first love. It has been a long time dream and i could never fathom the idea that i was able to go there. Despite the tsunami alert back in March, it didn't stop me from putting a halt to my jumping heart who fell in love with the place and people. I'll be back...

the Fishing Village

the sturdy jeepney in Sabtang

best way to go...

Tanay hay...

the place where were stayed in a private resort
owned by a batch mate

the old school toy camera i had the first
and the last time i was able to print photos.

Bring it on Bohol!

the man made forest

the lovely loboc river

the sunrise from panglao

the Surigao/Siargao Express

along the shoreline of gen. luna

the surigao museum

cloud 9 siargao

Last but not the least my last getaway for the year 2011...went to Baguio, i prefer to stay in camp john hay. The main city looked like Manila the only difference was the cool climate.

the view from mines view no more...

seriously?

someone lost her cam...

I already know what to expect this year. Coron is already booked as well as my Vietnam short stint.... oh well, let's see...

on stranger tides - from the subtitle of the Pirates of the Carribean

2011-05-21T23:42:00.002+08:00

i'm thinking of the right time...in a matter of weeks, i'll be seeing you soon. i hope we can sort things out or we can just stay perfectly still in the relationship that we are in. indeed we will have lots of time to talk... somehow, i'm excited and at the same time doubtful of what the outcome would be. i think you wouldn't blame me if i decide to see people, crazy as you might think. but i think i'm learning the ropes of the game. i don't want to get caught up in the travesty of our complicated situation....

Operator connect me to MARS

2011-05-19T15:05:00.001+08:00

i gather all my guts, i finally messaged her after a week of just browsing her FB profile (shit i sound like an effin stalker) but that wasn't my intention. i was just browsing through it. i never thought that i would eventually, ask her random questions without sounding like a dork. so here how the conversation went:

================
Yesterday

me: hey! musta na?

mars: Hi mara! I'm okay. Kaw?

me: ito so far so good pa naman. muhkang ok ung normal working hrs ah. it really works for you.

mars: Hmmm sakto lang. Poor nga lang ako. Hehe. Kakatapos lang work niyo?

me: di bale, promotion will just be knocking at your door if not now.. soon. hehehe... yep, short shift lang later kaya nagpupuyat. are u at work? baka kasi naistobo kita

mars: Yes. Okay lang un. Walang bawal bawal dito. Hehe. :)) musta na un iba?

me: nice. astig naman dyan. for the others. like xave and ruth promoted na. sila ahvie, jen and mami cess ka team ko ngayon. ok naman sila lahat. minsan haggard lang kasi laong gumulo mgmt, at least wala na kayo nila jeanne sa hell.
hehehe

mars: Hehe. Kaya niyo yan! Laki naman sweldo eh. Si josh musta? Namiss ko kayong lahat!

me: thanks we need that, esp na may client next week. hahaha.. slave to the pay pero sagad nman sa work. ayun, may handle na newbies... beki pa rin si josh. hehehe... naabutan mo ba na may gumasgas sa car nya na taga us cards? nakakamiss ka rin noh! kau ni jeanne! nainom ka pa ba? inuman nman minsan kasama sila jen. hehehe

mars: Hindi eh. Nabasa ko lang sa facebook. Pano nalaman na taga US cards un? Game ako sa inom. Just text me.

me: nahuli ata sa txt msg. si alex daw ata ang nagtxt so they say. cge, sabihan ko sila jen kung kelan pwede. btw, ano na ngapala ulit number mo? na reformat na kasi phone ko eh. hehehe

mars: 091654******. Sana if ever pwede sila xave, ruth, josh, jen and lahat lahat kayo. Hehe

me: cge, ask ko sila. sat sun nman rd nmin e. sila xave and ruth opener, si josh closer. si jen madali na lang un. hehehe.. cge update kita
got it po. thanks! as for my number its still the same. na retain ko pa sa globe. hehehe

mars: Good good. Text me ah. Pwede ako sat or sun.

me: yep i will. sabihan ko na rin sila later. *_* enjoy the rest of the afternoon. ingat and blessed be.

mars: Okay. Ingat din!

Find more songs like Fighting Confusing Winds at Myspace Music

the glorious nosebleed - title borrowed from circa survive

2011-05-16T17:41:00.001+08:00

again, i have this nostalgic feeling. it's like deja vu... i am now in the middle of different by ways. the never ending question of should i stay or should i go. mediocrity has now evolved to a come- what- may -attitude. I've done a lot during my stay, my travels and my food escapade. my alter ego taking too much of my life, this is not me. i haven't put priorities into perspective. i wish i was somebody else, but i can't do that. i have to live as it is. why do i stay? is it my way of thinking that " i may not fit for the job but i have the capacity to be in it" maybe i shouldn't stick to this way of thinking.

this is affecting my health, i'm so exhausted mentally and physically. i'm dragging my feet (literally this time!) going to my routine life style. i commune more with nature, with my travels. meeting new people. finding new adventure all the time. that is who i really i am. i cannot keep up with the changing times. i am no longer the poster girl of flexibility. my constant paranoia, my pathological lying. can i just be honest with myself, just this once. but alas, the only thing that keeps me coming back is the monetary reward. I have drowned myself in the corporate whirlpool, having myself in the mercy of the capitalist pigs.

help me now or i may never get out alive.

2011

2011-01-16T18:13:00.001+08:00

what is new with 2011 except for the fact that my life long dream of going to Batanes finally is pushing through. I never expected that in the span of 3 years, i have sensed the fulfillment of traveling the country. I hope to visit more then after maybe south east asia. i'll take one day at a time, save up and all. Backpacking or for leisure travel, let my feet take me to places i've never been.

WOOOHOOO 2011!!! i have a lot of plans hopefully at least 3 things can be accomplished.

In the waiting line

2010-11-15T14:18:00.000+08:00

Watch as the ground turns as dark as the shadows cast on them and I disappear…when will i stop using "i". where will i start? where will i go? things can never be the same as it is. i stare and watch you burn. you shouldn't have tried and you could have just moved on. but you stayed, i try to hold you and be at my side. but i am tired of running. tired of shedding tears for something that isn't worth it.

When the time comes, i will catch the small glimmer of light and i would start writing again.

Commitment is Stress but a Good Stress

2010-10-21T17:44:00.001+08:00

i guess i never asked for this. i never said that i want to exert effort and time to what i am suppose to do.
but i am already in this situation and have to stop using the word "I" this time it will be "US". trust me nothing is simple everything is complex but it doesn't necessarily mean that we have to think hard to solve every bit and pieces of this puzzle that we are starting. we'll get through with it, i know we can.

summer is here to stay

2010-09-25T18:47:00.001+08:00

next month me and my team will be going to anawangin. woo hoo!!! beach here i come! frisbee all the way!!

The Theory is Right

2010-08-23T15:34:00.004+08:00

Men are Men. They focus on one thing alone, they can't multi task and if they do try it ruins them. I can't blame him, he may catch my interest for awhile but after it will mean nothing. A one day affair will continue to be a one time affair. Nothing more, nothing less.

as what he said " We're both adults and we can discuss anything"

at the back of my head " really now?"

I've already proven my theory time and time again. The result is still the same, i guess that is the reason why i can't be in one room with the male specie. our world will just collide, they think i'm acting difficult but looks who's talking.

Everyone ages, but no one really matures. It is the responsibility that changes.

never hurt like you

a whole lot of things happened

2010-06-27T15:36:00.000+08:00

it's been what? almost a month from the last time i posted something.
so what's new i might ask?
how's your studies? the place? or should I be asking.... are you dating someone now?
i mean although we've chatting using the BB that you gave me. i still can't imagine how things were.
when it was just you and me going to places. taking turns on who's going to drive and such. i miss that. i really don't care if you decide that you don't want to meet my friends. it's alright. there is no pressure.
I mean you seem to trust me a lot when it comes to being monogamous. lol!
i noticed that you gained weight but i'm not saying that your fat or what not. it looks good on you.
and oh my, i have to say. your back in the running game. good for you.

as for me, besides from being in a "pre-diabetic condition" i'm trying my very best to cut on those carbs, meats and such. my parents decided that my daily diet would consist of tofu, oatmeal and a lot of veggies. but the good thing that happened to me this year is. i don't drink as often as before. just social drinking would do. for the ciggs, 5 sticks a day and i'm still trying to cut it down to 3 per day. an achievement right?

but alls well and ends well. i still don't want to talk about work. ho-hum for me i guess?
til my next update. talk to you soon sweetie. i can't wait for August.

Closest thing to Heaven

2010-05-02T21:44:00.004+08:00

I cannot fathom just the thought of finally organizing my trip to Batanes. I am ready to gamble my life savings for a one year experience, no holds barred adventure in my so called fantasy island. This is the closest thing to heaven for me, i know you cannot wait as well. The giddy feeling inside cannot be put into words. We should experience this together and maybe... just maybe we can find the answer we were looking for.

Here are some pics courtesy of Meg from her Batanes trip.

Cross the Lines

2010-04-26T12:51:00.001+08:00

I've gone deaf, the lines are all dead. the lines are crossed. sometimes we just have to start from scratch. no words were whispered in my head. the promises that were not forgotten. where shall i draw my strength?where will i go?
You of the million stars, i hold on to tears. I hold on to my hopes. I will chance upon this fate.

Lord of Karma

2010-04-18T21:30:00.004+08:00

The past week was one roller coaster ride. it was a nightmare, stressful and depressing at the same time. I never expected those CF's would come pouring like rain one after the other. My vision spinning and i feel like vomiting, but what's done been done. There is no point in crying over spilled milk. I'm drinking now my " happy pill" then maybe, just maybe the next following weeks would be better. My karma for the next coming days would be full of positivity.

==========================

currently listening to tears for fears - advice for the young at heart, closest thing to heaven, head over heels and fish out of water

will i join the crowd?

2010-04-12T12:28:00.005+08:00

sometimes i have to tell myself, that i can't possibly get along with all the people surrounding me. as i would always tell those who know me, that i do not need a lot of friends. a handful will do. I will be drinking from my gauntlet of self banishment. nothing is what it seems to be. I've grown tired of immaturity. i need to take one more step to move forward, i am perfectly happy and i should be. i can't be affected and i can't let myself affected. what i have is what i reaped and sowed, they do not have a say to anything that i will do or say.
i may sound selfish, but i am keeping my company for myself.

nuff' said.

===========================

From the talking polar bears of the north to the bloody streets of Nanking

2010-04-05T22:43:00.003+08:00

Since i have nothing to do for rest of the afternoon plus the scorching heat made a point that i can't go anywhere. I chanced upon a 2007 movie called the Golden Compass based from the novel of Philip Pullman, i very much liked the film though it is a shame that they never made a sequel on this 4 part novel. After that film, i watched the Warlords, the movie is somehow so-so but i've got two words "Takeshi Kaneshiro"

enough said. this is just my thought.

The Impulsive Pagbilao

2010-03-23T01:12:00.001+08:00

finally something good has happened. i just need a sign then i can move on.

my good night song

2010-03-13T22:59:00.002+08:00

i'm doing this old school!

haven't had any sleep yet.

this will lull me to sleep

Being Bitter is a Cliché

2010-03-05T14:13:00.000+08:00

"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose."

The hottest love has the coldest end

It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye

And I shall find some girl perhaps, and a better one than you, With eyes as wise, but kindlier, and lips as soft, but true, and I daresay she will do.

The heart was made to be broken.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together

he saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you

You never lose by loving. You always lost by holding back

"Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow."

"Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."

The stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won't hurt you again.

"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew."

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been."

Top 10 starting break up lines

1. We need to talk.
2. It's not your fault. It's me.
3. I've lied.
4. Do you remember when I’ve said everything is alright?
5. You are like a sister/brother to me.
6. I think we would be better off friends.
7. I don't love you any more.
8. Do you really want to know why I go out to dinner with my assistant?
9. Have you always been so boring?
10. Give me back my keys.

======
who needs these lines when it's over. it's over.

A Fresh Start

2009-12-29T13:31:00.003+08:00

let's leave the past behind, let's start a new page of this new year.
it wouldn't hurt if we say sorry to those we have hurt along the way.
let's end the year with a bang!

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!!!!

Changing

2009-12-14T13:17:00.001+08:00

The heart didn't grow fonder, i thought this absence was for the better. guess what? reality bites it was quite the opposite. you seemed disappointed with the outcome, again your moving away. can't you see nobody's watching? here we are caught in this unlikely predicament for the nth time, is this how I'm supposed to feel and is there a change you need to see? it seems so clear that we both feel the jitters of what will happen next. I'm sorry to burst your bubble but nothing is what it seems. for now reasoning is futile, I'm stuck. i don't need to beg. begging was never my cup of tea and you will never see this in my vocabulary. An affair perhaps, can we conclude that confusion took everything?

How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light and these were all that I remember before you changed.

----------------------------

i can't carry the sunlight on my own

on my play list:
saosin - i keep my secrets safe

From Joms to My OWN

2009-11-25T12:21:00.001+08:00

* there was once a girl who was lost in confusion and would walk the dark streets contemplating the reason for this confusion. one day she met Laurice and had a drink with her. hours later, the girl left. she still walks the dark streets up to this day, but rumor has it, the girl smiles every time she walks by the very place she had a drink with Laurice.

yes joms, i think i fully understand the msg you sent me the last time we talked about the Egyptian goddess. hope that Anna and Lot was there so that they could have seen the un-thinkable thing that i did... but then again, good thing they didn't. =p

---------
now listening to :
the starlight mints - black champagne

MARS has landed.

2009-11-23T20:04:00.005+08:00

It all came unexpectedly, while "she" was away here i am trying to fight with my conscience whether i like MARS just because i find her cute. Or is it my whim all acting up crazy again? MARS was just some one who recently caught my eye. I don't know MARS personally it was Lloydie's idea and used me for bait to get the mobile number of MARS' friend and here i am stuck with a big L on my forehead. Lloydie would tell me facts here and there about MARS, in addition he would always tell me that there might be a chance that me and MARS might hit off in a good way. C'mon do you really think that someone would believe that the reason why a particular person would like to ask for someone's mobile number is for friendship? I think that is lame and pathetic. Days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into months, and yes i think I'm starting to like her.

The next question would be why? Why can't you just go without asking for your "someone's" permission,
i mean.. is his decision that relevant? but this i can promise you.

I'll make sure that you'll be well taken care of. you'll enjoy the pristine saltwater touching your skin. the white sand and the mere environment itself. why can't we just go away and enjoy the time all for ourselves. this will be different from pagudpod, i know that i don't talk much but i guess before i leave this is one thing i wanted to do... and that is to ask you out.

Lloydie already crushed my mere being to you so why not continue it? a risk can't be that hard right? By the way, no need to worry about the Egyptian goddess. She wouldn't know since i wouldn't tell her in the first place. She won't be going.

But above all, the real dilemma is how in the world will i invite you to our beach bumming getaway? I mean i know that i have a month to ask you. I just don't have the guts to tell you, i completely forgot that your MARS and I'm stuck here... in my Earth. I'll keep you posted.

===============

currently listening to:

the killers - somebody told me
fall out boy - what a catch, donnie
carolina liar - i'm not over and coming to terms

US CMI.... Lorca for You

2009-11-09T16:04:00.002+08:00

weeee one year na tayo next year!!!

no more 100k bond that is for sure.

how time flies, i guess. a new start, a new chapter in our daily routine.

wavemates kampai! cheers to the good times and bad.

to the 22 people who made a buzz, moved on and built a name for our wave kudos to all!
more blessings to come guys!

nisha
carly
marc
lj
fej
tata
mel alegre
john
khris
nheil
melanie reyes
cher
rio
vince
migs
lory
jeff ponce
vince
amiel
emz
charrie
heidz
my
and me of course

cheers to our one year! thanks for the memories guys!

* if i left out anyone, shoot me. my memory failed me couple of times already.

-----------------------------------

zum Strahlensetzer

Sie sollten kennen besser, wann man Nr. sagt und wann man ja sagt. Ich bin für die letzten Tage äußerst leise gegangen, und jetzt bin ich auf Zwangsferienurlaub, weil die Akten für diesen Tag nicht genug für alle Mittel auf dem Fußboden genügend ist. *sigh* so erklären Sie mir, was ich gehend, heute zu tun sind? wenn nur Sie hier dann ich würden froh schlafen vorbei an Ihrem Haus und sprechen nicht waren - Richtung. verfehlen Sie Sie.

been practicing lately. so correct me.

ehem.. back @ you.

2009-10-26T10:22:00.001+08:00

sometimes you just have to look back and remember the times you said silly things over a serious matter..

1. i will and i said.. i will not look other than you. i meant every word.

2. it was a pathetic reaction, so screw me!

3. no more stolen glances, sheesh... that is so high school.

4. love is for the weak and uneducated.

FOR you VQ, don't assume that i "like" you. your one of those fads that will come and go that i can assure you.

TONTO!!!

2009-08-25T16:20:00.005+08:00

Some people just can't follow instructions, that i can say.
I went to this hair salon in a mall near our place, i carefully instructed to have a trim on my hair.
I was observing him, when i suddenly noticed that he's cutting my hair way too short than what i expected.
In the back of my mind i was saying: " i need to tell this person to stop first and listen to what i say"
And so I did, but by the time i opened my mouth...
To hell's wrath, he already cut an inch of my hair already...

I almost cried in my seat, but i have to hold back my emotions. I just waited for the hell to be done and over with. I quickly got up, went to the reception and paid without looking back because i'm trying to avoid any bad words to come out of my mouth..

Right now, i really don't know what to do... thanks to that effin' hair stylist he bastardized my hair!!!

TONTO!!!!

the gifts....

2009-08-17T19:45:00.003+08:00

the bag and the watch....

the gifts the labor of love as they would say... no words can explain how weird it is... but it was all worth it.

213...

2009-07-20T18:24:00.001+08:00

Fighting Confusing Winds

Here I stand, waiting, hoping and breathing
With so many thoughts but still thinking of nothing at all
Not knowing what I need
I won't cry
I'm sure this time we'll be alright
I won't give up the fight
This heart's stronger this time
Watch all the tears as they fall with the rain
Her lips remain sealed and I remain trembling
Will the rain wash me away or will it sink me in
Will it be my escape or will it bring me back to you
As the speed of the storm has her running for cover
She's fighting to paint a scene with no colors
When the rain like hurt is left beating upon her
She'll know this is home
As we stand here together I wish she'd just make up her mind
I'd wait for her forever but in this weather
I am fighting to keep my feet on the ground
Hearts dying but I can't let it go down (not now)
And I swear I won't go... I swear I won't go
This storm won't break the sound
Of this heart that yells so loud
As the speed of the storm has her running for cover
She's fighting to paint a scene with no colors
When the rain like hurt is left beating upon her
She'll know this is home
The speed of the storm
Keeps her running, she's running on
She thinks she needs more
But she won't find it, won't find it there
Why does she ignore
The things she is missing alone
And the reasons I wish she'd call this home

this got into me...

All about the perfect procrastinator…

2009-07-19T14:23:00.003+08:00

The First Time.

i tried and called her for the nth time until she woke up! "Hoy!" i said… "hello?! i’m waiting’ out here?!"… "sorry, i fell asleep" she said… "how am i suppose to reach your place?!" i told her where i am and she told me where to go and what to do with the security guards… we didn’t put down the phone until i reached the place… luckily my phone didn’t die… and i sighed in relief…

part 1

her aunt's place was a mansion… it’s big, it’s class A, it’s an ambassador’s pad… they have more or less 5 cars in their garage not including the one’s parked outside (coz’ i didn’t know which of those were theirs) the exterior walls were made of granite perfectly blending with the soft light inside and the dark autumn leaves of a lush tree outside… she opened the main door gently and poof! i SAW her… i was not surprised, but i swallowed really hard… i didn’t expect anything but i was quite disappointed… i was laughing inside and i tried to hide it with a smile… i wanted to go home but i didn’t have any where to go… it was 4:00 am and i have no choice but to enter that house…

i barely seen anything when we went upstairs and i'm sure i’ll be lost when i’ll be left alone there… she opened a door of what i expected to be her room… the room was pitch black, was very cool, and it smelled bad as hell (Marlboro lights)… when my eyes were accustomed to the dark, i saw figures of smiling stuffed toys that looks like they were mocking me… the room was really big, maybe 3 or 4 times my own room… it has its own bathroom and there’s a door directing to a veranda… the room was a mess, under wears everywhere, scattered books, opened closets, clothes hanging everywhere, bags and shoes, bags of chips, packs and rims of Marlboro lights, and other stuffs… the room was furnished with a 30 inch flat screen TV, there was a laptop on one side of the queen-sized bed and a stereo system on the other… the list was endless…

part 2

i excused myself to go to the bathroom. i washed my face and there i took my time to think… "what am i doing here?" "am i dreaming?" "will she give me money to go home?" "will i have sex with her?" i went out and still figuring out what to do… she was now lying in the bed under a thick comforter and i later learned that she was only wearing a thong. she was looking at me straight in the eye and broke the silence "are you OK?". "do you have something’ to eat?" i asked. i didn’t know what i was thinking then, but it just came out of my lips involuntarily… "uh, i mean, do u have something’ to drink?" she reached out into nowhere and gave me a bottle of water and pointed to a half-empty bag of chips… i sat next to her and gulped everything to the last drop… i lied beside her and asked "what am i doing here?". she didn’t answer. i keep on asking her questions, and none of it was actually answered… i felt something under the sheets… and then i knew…

===============
A Brief Description of a Loser

Rain is sad and bored. He doesn’t know what to do with his life anymore. Maybe he was kicked out of school or his girlfriend left him. Poor thing....

boo hoo to you!

2009-07-12T21:28:00.002+08:00

starting to lose patience... getting to my nerves already and i ain't happy but will try so hard to lengthen my patience... need to breathe...

" i do not need an utang - ng - loob from you"

this is for my own good that is why i'm doing this.... not for you.

ang ayoko sa lahat sipsip.. work politicking is something i abhor. i just want to play the fair game... then i'll play it smart...

still on the 90's movie marathon...

2009-06-16T13:33:00.001+08:00

your not in if you haven't been to chuckE cheese's... - line from a tv show back then i can't remember

from 10 things I hate about you:

"Bianca, let's go we're all congregating around mr. Cuervo"
"who needs affection when i have blind hatred..."
"not until she kissed me
where
in the car"

The Shrew reciting a poem...

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare
I hate your bid dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme
I hate the way youre always right, I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when youre not around, and the fact that you didnt call
But mostly I hate the way I dont hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

====================
SoundTrack

I Want You To Want Me (Letters To Cleo)
Fnt (Semisonic)
I Know (Save Ferris)
Your Winter (Sister Hazel)
Even Angels Fall (Jessica Riddle)
New World (Leroy)
Saturday Night (Ta-gana)
Atomic Dog (George Clinton)
Dazz (Brick)
The Weakness In Me (Joan Armatrading)
War (The Cardigans)
Wings Of A Dove (Madness)
Cruel To Be Kind (Letters To Cleo)
One More Thing (Richard Gibbs)

ColorBlind

2009-06-15T15:52:00.003+08:00

this brings back good old memories of the 90's/early 2000

i just so love the movie cruel intentions; the plot is twisted as it is. the highlight of 1999, whenever i watch it again and again. scenes that makes your heart go ... blank. really, it is something you would want to watch.

OST for Cruel Intentions:

fatboy slim - praise you
blur - coffee & tv
day one - bedroom dancing
counting crows - colorblind
kristen barry - ordinary life
marcy playground - comin up from behind
skunk anansie - secretly
craig armstrong f/ elizabeth fraser - this love
aimee mann - you could make a killing
faithless - addictive
abra moore- trip on love
bare jr. - you blew me off
the verve - bitter sweet symphony
placebo - every you and every me

======================
Counting Crows - Colorblind

I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am taffy stuck and tongue tied
Stutter shook and uptight
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine

I am covered in skin
No one gets to come in
Pull me out from inside
I am folded and unfolded and unfolding
I am colorblind
Coffee black and egg white
Pull me out from inside
I am ready
I am fine

My Game

2009-06-12T12:24:00.000+08:00

Here is just a thought. nothing sentimental and such... just a thought.

Traces Of Us

I'm on time as usual. I find myself checking and double checking the time on the watch I begged for two Christmas' ago.
Finally 'she' arrives. Cute. She walks like she's been practicing a long time. She sits down and greets me with a half cocked smile.
I say, I ordered us wine.
No reply.
I breathe THE sigh to release the frustration that I feel tearing up my insides.
I choose my next sentences easily since I've practiced all this in the car on the way...
"Look Dee, I'm not one for small talk so, ill just say it- you're stepping on my toes, you're invading my space"
No reply.
I continue, "Why would you choose to be 2nd? If you know that Oris is with me, why then are you so desperate to have what someone already has?"
She shifts in her chair, then says, "I think you forgot, I'm not #2, I'm number one..I run this shit, Oris came to me- again..and again and yet again..I make it MY way, Oris is MY thing. Obviously if she cared she would've STILL been there."
I feel my ulcer taking over, I take a sip of the wine, deep breathing again and trying to stay FOCUSED. My mind says slap this bitch directly in her disrespectful ass mouth...but no, I continue even though I feel my jaw tightening and my head adjust itself to the side just ever so slightly.
"Ok, Dee, so here's the deal.. I'm not done eating off my plate, I'm not done with my meal-So push back."
She says.."Chii boo, the dishes are already done."
Then sits there with this smirk-I HATE 'smirky bitches'. At this point, I feel my temple aching, my body trembling, I'm bout to whup this bitch..for real.
....Ring, with the cellphone.. Its HERS, and its my baby.
The smirk appears again.
I gulp another sip, throw four hundreds on the table and leave thinking......
Ughh. I hate breakups.
I hate the time that passes thru from moment of NOTICE to signing a lease with only one name. I hate the cold and empty feeling of the king size bed. I hate the silence of the phone. I hate the extra closet space. I hate the smaller portioned dinners that seem to still sit in on the 'leftover' shelf in the fridge. I hate doing the laundry and finding memorabilia. I hate the caller-id with traces of HER. I hate your scent not being in the room. I hate the fact that I try to call you, and it goes to voice mail. I hate the tears that well up in my eyes from the 6 months we spent that mean nothing anymore. I hate the pictures that remain torn in hundreds of pieces on the floor. I hate the ring that you bought, telling me some bullshit about.. forever?? And especially, I hate the fact that its been 2 months since you left and I CAN'T get on with myself, I hate the new people I've tried to see comparing every inch, I hate the party invites from people who "remain neutral", I hate that even my thoughts are consumed by traces of us.

Something To Think About..

2009-05-29T15:51:00.002+08:00

Juneau Lyrics
Artist(Band):Funeral For A Friend

Tied to the testing of wills
Where my heart breaks and spills
Left to the sight of the sky
In your arms I'm defined

We're thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies
In the minds of your enemies
And I'm a stone in the eyes
Of your foolishness

Well if this is what I'm meant for
I'm No longer interesting
Fall forward just to even the score
Just a point to you

Tied to the testing of wills
When my heart breaks and spills
Left to the sight of the sky
In your arms I'm defined

We're thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies
In the minds of your enemies
And I'm a stone in the eyes
Of your foolishness

And I'm nothing more than a line in your book
Yet I'm nothing more than a line in your book
Yet I'm nothing more than a line in your book
Yet I'm nothing more than a line in your book

In your book
In your book

Well if this is what I'm meant for
I'm No longer interesting
Fall forward just to even the score
Just a point to you

Just A point To You
Just A point To You

Yet I'm nothing more
Yet I'm nothing more
Than a line in your book
Yet I'm nothing more
Than a line in your book

---------------------------------

it's just a sad thought that someone is being used and abused.
the feelings and efforts are being neglected
why do you stay?
have you gone numb, that you don't even care anymore.
i just feel sorry for you.

Moving and Slowly Fading

2009-05-20T13:52:00.003+08:00

Gone are the days when things were simpler, Gone are the endless happy thoughts Of innocent smiles and unconditional love. Change is inevitable Change is the only thing permanent in this world. The face that launched a thousand ships The one who broke million hearts You of the careless whispers You, the truest of all of it's aims I bid thee farewell And farewell i would keep forever.

-----------------------

the ladies of US CMI Collections. weee... weee... Barney na Barney lang.

Lift me UP now

2009-05-12T12:27:00.002+08:00

ascension - maxwell

Oooooh...

It happened the moment, when you were revealed
'Cause you were a dream that you should not have been
A fantasy real
You gave me this beating baby
This rhythm inside
And you made me feel good and feel nice and feel loved
Give me paradise

[1] - So shouldn't I realize
You're the highest of the high
If you don't know, then I'll say it
So don't ever wonder
[repeat 1]

So tell me how long
How long it's gonna take until you speak, babe
'Cause I can't live my life
Without you here by my side
Ooh...
You gave me the feelin', feelin' in my life
[rpt 1]

----------------------

you never cease to amaze me. i loved you like a thousand mornings
seen moonlit nights
i felt the warm embrace
for that my thanks to you...

I'm better off ALONE

2009-05-07T15:14:00.005+08:00

"The Drugs Don't Work"

All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down

And I hope you're thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

But I know I'm on a losing streak
'Cause I passed down my old street
And if you wanna show, then just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

All this talk of getting old
It's getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I'm comin' down

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

'Cause baby, ooh, if heaven calls, I'm coming, too
Just like you said, you leave my life, I'm better off dead

But if you wanna show, just let me know
And I'll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don't work
They just make you worse
But I know I'll see your face again

Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again
Yeah, I know I'll see your face again

I'm never going down, I'm never coming down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
I'm never coming down, I'm never going down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
[Repeat and Fade Out]

=====================

Last Nite @Puerto

Always been misunderstood
Done with always saying sorry first.

- Oris was right i should have stayed and not wasted my effort and our money in that so called trip.
thanks for the memories. but this time i think i should be better off alone to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings.
i'll see all of you around.

Panic Holds me Like a GUN...

2009-04-24T13:37:00.001+08:00

◘ Alexisonfire ◘
-To A Friend-

I'm thinking that it's time to get out
My patients are fading fast
The mind bruises just a little bit easier
Dark times and shadows cast

What are you suffering for?
Your pride or some kind of personal war?
And will you throw it away?
For nothing more than the simple taste?

[Chorus]
I'll stay in time and watch you pass by
[paranoia woven deep beneath my skin]
And I'll draw this line (breath slow)
And hope you take my side (breath slow)
You shouldn't have to fight alone
[you shouldn't have to fight at all]
Its nobody's battle but your own

Panic holds me like a gun
Firm and steadfast bleak and cold
I think it's time to kill the drama
This life style's getting old

Faces threaten from behind closed doors
Eyes spy from dark windows
Plotting minds that seek to harm me, or maybe not
I don't really know

There is something waiting
For me
In the darkest Part of
My ima gi na-tion

[Chorus]
I'll stay in time and watch you pass by
[paranoia woven deep beneath my skin]
And I'll draw this line (breath slow)
And hope you take my side (breath slow)
You shouldn't have to fight alone
[you shouldn't have to fight at all]
Its nobody's battle but your own

This is just self-induced terror
There's more to come
This is just a glimpse
I tell myself that it's all in my head
But im pretty hard to convince

Oh, there's no relief
Oh, this world can offer
Oh, there's no relief
Oh, this world can offer me

I stay in time and watch you pass by
I draw this line
And hope you'll take my side
You shouldn't have to fight alone
It's nobody's battle but your own

i'm not being emo because i'm not. i know your reading this... you know what i meant when i said that i am not your savior but rather just a person whose willing to take great heights and risks with you.

To A Friend - Alexisonfire

My Aim Is True

2009-04-12T20:42:00.003+08:00

I’m not going to get too sentimental like those other sticker valentines, Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking when I hear the silly things that you say. I think somebody better put out the big light,’cause I can’t stand to see you this way.

See? it’s a fact that the only person i can argue with is you, and that spices everything between us . Whether it may be good or bad, i never seem to give up every argument that we have. That is so unusual of me, since most of the time i don’t want to stress myself of those mediocrity ideas that they throw back at me.

I know, everything has calmed down. The hostility is over, but silence is more deafening that the noise we create every time we start to open our mouths. Words can create concussions here and there but that would eventually heal, but for actions it would be a never ending infection that cannot be healed and would penetrate deeper until one of us would say ” i give up”.

It became a tapestry of stories intertwined leading one story to another… Can we go back to the start?

Here's to the 201st Post........

2009-03-15T15:30:00.002+08:00

I didn't notice that I have been blogging for quite sometime now...
Woopie!
201st and there's more to come....

======================
"I'll challenge my hands until i can grasp it"

i haven't forgotten about this line.... this would still be my mantra but sometimes work and personal matters don't mix... but my words are true. Just look at my shout out right now. I'm not the one destined to save you. I'll just be a shadow on the wall and of course no one wants to fall in love alone. I'll cover you in roses that you won't even notice. Ü

Eraserheads the FINAL SET 3.07.09

2009-03-08T14:33:00.005+08:00

The money spent was worth it. I enjoyed, i did! I did! Rock Stars in it's truest sense, no words can ever describe the feeling of euphoria last night. The intensity was not the same as the first one but nevertheless, knowing that they were able to finish the effin concert was good enough.

But it would have been better if the great master rapper the late Francis M was able to give an "umph" to the show for the song SuperProxy. Then again, that wouldn't happen never again. Not this time around, maybe in the afterlife....

The Music Will Live On... Sayonara!

new songs in my playlist:

reach- eyes set to kill
coming to terms - carolina liar
i don't want to be - gavin de graw
all over you-the spill canvas
rest in pieces - saliva
hiding inside the -
my american heart
use somebody - kings of leon
still life projector - never looks back
fake plastic trees - radiohead
tisbury lane - mae
look after you - the fray
0:00 am - acid

==========

Facts of a Call Center Agent

2009-02-24T14:34:00.003+08:00

here are some fascinating facts i found out recently about call center agents:

1. of course, it pretty obvious about the eyebags
2. even if were in a tropical country, the jacket has become one of the must have's
3. they have lost the sense of time ( hinde na nila alam kung anung oras at araw ngayon)
4. fast food/junk food is now an essential part of their daily diet. you can now see that in the bulge of their bellies.
5. employees are getting younger and younger. heck, i can see 18 yr old peeps working.
6. the "mga kafatid sa pananampalataya" are rampant at these centers. they are at their par with those homophobic ....... .
7. in connection to number 6, for those who are straight now. in one point or another they belonged to the pananampalataya before and the other way around. Ü
8. and last but not the least, they earn more than their normal juan de la cruz counterpart.

that's just what i've observed. but if you think i might be wrong about this. then feel free to correct me. any violent reactions are welcomed as well.

Whoa! It's so ME....

2009-02-18T15:57:00.002+08:00

Anyone who has gone through the agony of losing someone he/she loves so much will still wish against all odds to have that love back again. But sometimes, a love lost is a love gone forever. No amount of hope can bring back to life a relationship that just died a natural death. Set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly. Remember, it may rain for 40 days and 40 nights, but still it will not rain forever. One day, the pouring will stop and there will be plenty of branches where you can find rest. One of these is where you will build your nest and start over again. It's never too late. You may find love and lose it but, WHEN LOVE DIES, YOU NEVER DIE WITH IT. You cannot be a redeemer all your life. The best way to weigh a relationship is through the test of fire. You cannot be a loser with your mistake forever. We all fall and make wrong decisions, but our blunders are not meant to bury us deep in misery, but to teach us the valued lessons of life. Loving is always a learning process... with love we learn how to CARE AND SACRIFICE. We learn to SHARE AND REACH OUT. We learn to be UNSELFISH AND GIVE MORE THAN WE CAN. Then, when everything doesn't end well, we learn how it feels like to fall and get hurt. But learning doesn't have to end there. After our fall, we strive to get back on our feet and move on. This is where we learn that LIFE DOESN'T END WHERE OUR HEARTACHES BEGIN. THERE'S NO FUTURE FOR A RELATIONSHIP OF LIES AND SELFISHNESS. It's true, there is life in love. But, there can still be life even after losing love. If you leave the past behind and let your heart heal, then you give yourself the chance to find yourself again. The success of a relationship lies not only in the beauty of its beginning, but in its consistency. Make a choice not on impulse but a decision based on a healthy balance of mind and heart. Let us always remember that...HAPPINESS IS NOT A MATTER OF DESTINY BUT A MATTER OF CHOICE. There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end, our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. YOU DON'T HAVE TO FORGET SOMEONE YOU LOVE. WHAT YOU NEED TO LEARN IS HOW TO ACCEPT THE VERDICT OF REALITY WITHOUT BEING BITTER OR SORRY FOR YOURSELF. YOU WOULD BE BETTER OFF GIVING THAT DEDICATION AND LOVE TO SOMEONE MORE DESERVING. Don't let your heart run your life. Be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. IF YOU LOSE LOVE, IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE FAILED IN LOVE. CRY IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT MAKE SURE THAT TEARS WASH AWAY THE HURT AND THE BITTERNESS THAT THE PAST LEFT YOU WITH. LET GO OF YESTERDAY AND LOVE WILL FIND ITS WAY BACK TO YOU. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. A woman on the rebound could easily fall for sweeping emotions and be made to falsely believe that she finally stumbled upon the right man...when what she just found is only someone to cover up for the love she lost. A man who makes a promise with words and not with actions may never live up to fulfill them. IT'S TRUE THAT LOVE CAN WAIT FOREVER, BUT IT IS CRAZY TO STUBBORNLY HOPE FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN CARE OR UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL.

==============================================

do i really need to bother myself with this story.... i just posted this to catch your attention. heck, i'm done with those cheesy lines.... and uber-ly depressing story of love and it's failed relationship.

yesterday was my birthday. another year older and i guess another year wiser (?)
but i do thank the One up ABOVE for giving me another year to celebrate life.

C'est La Vie!

The Birthday Gift and All.....

2009-02-10T18:50:00.001+08:00

As i promised myself... already bought tickets to the Eraserheads concert without batting an eyelash...since it is one of my whims to attend again the concert.... sorry FOB, i need to let you go since this is rather important. hehehehe.... then after the concert tickets. i'm venturing to a new hobby of lomography. i'll be buying my toy camera next week and i'll have it for a good price.

ehem( naynay, as you mentioned.... you'll be buying me a new guitar pick.i want the fender one aight? ) hahahaha.....

the band and i are swapping positions since we wanted a new look and a new sound from the previous music we used to play. no more "emo-thingy" for us. i think it is alright for us to do the pop rock, electronic, alternative music. already compiling the songs and all we need is to schedule our band practice.

The return of the comeback of Sunset Walkway....

The What - NOT of MY Story

2009-02-01T23:17:00.004+08:00

would you believe that the "one-who-got-away" unexpectedly resigned from her post as a supervisor. As what I've heard from the people around... that she immediately resigned because her parents grounded her for it. Moreover, what freaked me out is the fact that she is dating a guy who's already married. C'mon... i think she's smart to know what's wrong or right....

crap, as they would say.... marami ngang matatalinong tanga. and she's one of them. i just hate the fact that she threw away the opportunity that was given to her... but i do wish her all the best.
Hopefully one of these days she will snap out of her crazy relationship.

-----------------------

anyway, about what happened for the past few weeks has been crazy. 2 batchmates of mine got terminated. then the account got stricter from being lenient... like sort of a martial law implemented on the ops floor. Finally, one of our QA's is crushing on me and what pisses me off is that my batchmates is teasing me about it. i don't want to sound mean, but she is not my type. i would like to thank her in fact coz i never thought someone would be crushing on me. wahaha... me? the complete childish nerd was finally noticed by someone. anyways, i hope this "thing-y" would die its natural death.

Blame my Memories

2009-01-18T15:26:00.003+08:00

it's time to let go of things that has ended a few years ago. there's no need to cry over spilled milk, even if somethings/ some feelings didn't have any closure. failure is not an option it happens, let go and if it doesn't try again and again til your so sick of that situation, regret and pain. it is the only way for salvation, salvation of having the feeling of being content and happy. err, i guess being "happy" would just be the right word to describe it. i think no one would ever be content or so i thought.

nobody wants to be stuck in the same merry-go-round. move out of your comfort zone, exceed your limits and break free of the norms that you grew up following. now is the time to scream that ' I'm already over you' and this time you ain't turning back. Moving forward is your only option and your future is what matters.

as my new mantra goes "I'll challenge my hands until i can grasp it"

Cheers to the New Year 2009. I'll be looking forward for the tears, pain and laughter...

the razzle dazzle of the new year....

2009-01-13T01:45:00.003+08:00

new year, new songs in my playlist:

dizzee rascal and calvin harris - dance with me* shazzam remix
christian falk feat robyn - dream on (moto blanco)
no halo = put your hands on*warren clarke remix
ron gelfer - my beat sounds like (disco lips remix)
m gee - body swerve (warren clarke remix)
raw fea amanda wilson - intoxicated ( jimmy chews bassremix
cevin fisher - burnin' up
static revenger - happy people
atfc - bad habit 2008
guru josh - infinity 2008 klaas rmx
afro medusa - pasilda
shakedown - at night
axwell & bob sinclair ft ron caroll - wonderful world
freemasons - if
steve mac -loving you more
jason phatts ft ben ofodoe - can't stop
bart b more vs oliver twist - finally
full intention - i'll be waiting
bootyluv - boogie tonight
michael woods -natural high
shiny grey - why (wez clarke remix)
freemasons - watchin'
nalin & kane - beach ball
wez clarke - someday (wez terrace)
pryda - rakfunkt
adele - hometown glory (axwell mix)
eric prydz - pijanoo
"justice - d.a.n.c.e. - boring song"
mark knight & funakagenda - shogun
plantlife -sun shines through your love
rae & christian fea veba - spellbound
eat more cake ft alexiz griffith - red sky
bob sinclair - i feel for you
josy watley - love hangover
nightmares on wax - hey go
dj spen & the muthafunkaz pre mark evans - given me joy
dannii minogue - more more more
cicada - raydio
raplh myerz - stormy weather
miguel migs - fire
ernie k doe - here ccom the girls -
the super phonics - dial l for love
roisin murphy -let me know -
kish mauve - lose control
reel people fea tasita d'mour - anything you want
miguel migs - breakin' it down

my only goal for this year is to be promoted, no apprehensions or what not. i don't care about the consequences that it might bring in the end. I'll be promoted no matter what happens.

"if we could correct one fault in a year, we would be soon perfect men"

Merry Xmas and A Rockin' New Year To ALL!!!!

2008-12-26T17:02:00.002+08:00

As expected of what my job description is, i celebrated my Christmas eve in the office. of course that was for the convenience of our customers not ours. Like hell, i wanted to scream at them that they are enjoying their Christmas eve while i was stuck there taking calls. my ears were already bleeding from all the ranting (I'm just exaggerating)... C'mon people have a freakin' life! Can't they be nice for just one day only? as usual i won't expect anything this new year's eve. I'm pretty sure that I'll be spending new year's eve at work.

hayz this would be second time in a row already..... happy new year na lang sa akin....

Me and Ninja "Liit"

2008-11-22T03:38:00.004+08:00

that little voice inside has woken up and that small intellectuality is up and running again. oooohhhhhh, i can't wait to see more posts here for our new material.
just so you wait... Sunset Walkway will be back to rock everyone's world.

======================================

Crisis

show me the right direction
coz i'm caught in the middle of this crossroad
when all was left were lies and goodbyes

memories have been remnants of the past
please try to move on
i'll be shouting at the top of my lungs
that enough is enough
this kiss would be the last
so hold me close, hold me tightly

if we can go back to the place on how things started
i'll just wait for you there
i tried to be a blanket to comfort you
but you burned and threw it away

silence is the only answer i could give
sadness will witness it thru the track of my tears
nothing will save me from this and so are you
will you not hold me and see me never?

i chose my path
this life is just a journey
my eyes are open from the truth
these emotions already faltered
undeniably, you made everything upside down
the hurt you've caused inside out
this kiss would be the last
so hold me close, hold me tightly

Why oh Why Mr. Coffee

2008-11-19T23:06:00.000+08:00

Smite me you MIGHTY “SMITER!!!” (if there’s such a thing) thanks for letting me be careless…

shadow you have ruined my short but sweet intellectuality… For a moment there, i think i used 25% of my brain coz most of the time i only use one percent. I am a lazy thinker that’s why nothings been happening. I let FATE dictate everything for me… But nevertheless, May the FATES be with me…..

All by my lonesome this All Saints Day....

2008-11-01T20:13:00.003+08:00

Whew, a friend of mine from long ago blogged something about her life and it's good to know that everything's fine with all the things that's been happening with her. She's expecting a baby soon and how cool is that? Ü
My sincerest congratulations to her, i guess we ended things in a hostile way. But i do mean well for her. Blessed be to her and her baby.

Moving on, today is All Saints Day this is the time of the year that in our country we visit our loved ones who have already passed on. Well, in my case its my grandparents ( dads side) that were visited a few hours ago. As expected it was like a picnic and a family reunion at the cemetery. As years pass by, the way we celebrate this holiday things have changed or maybe the current generation have slowly forgotten the essence on why they are visiting their loved ones during this day? The cemetery has become a haven of the fashionanistas and the fashion disasters, all day long they think about them selves but they even haven't said a single prayer for their loved ones. For crying out loud people, try to respect the dead! The only thing that they need from us are our prayers not how well or how bad you were dressed for the day. Plus, i don't also think that they are interested to listen to the latest chismis going on to this or that person. It doesn't sound right...
Enough of my raves... I'm dead tired only had 4 hours of sleep....

Btw here's the conversation i had with my real friend... missed our little chat and all...

ivy Orense: so wala kang pasok
skye_ashcroft: nope sa monday na ulit
ivy Orense: so every weekends off mo?
skye_ashcroft: yep
skye_ashcroft: for this training lang
ivy Orense: fixed yan?
ivy Orense: ic
skye_ashcroft: nope, pag nasa floor daw weekdays karamihan ang off
ivy Orense: ic..
ivy Orense: teka asa bahay ka?
skye_ashcroft: yep
ivy Orense: ibig sabihin may internet na ulit kayo dyan?
skye_ashcroft: just got home
ivy Orense: and landline?
skye_ashcroft: uu may internet pero smartbro
skye_ashcroft: no landline dude
skye_ashcroft: wehehe
ivy Orense: naks
ivy Orense: sino bayad?
skye_ashcroft: ako
ivy Orense: mabilis ba?
ivy Orense: naks
ivy Orense: webcam tayo!
skye_ashcroft: yeah but sometimes may laggy moments
skye_ashcroft: wala akong webcam
ivy Orense: may headset ka?
ivy Orense: pak
skye_ashcroft: nde pa ako nakakabili
skye_ashcroft: wla rin
skye_ashcroft: wala pa akong budget
skye_ashcroft: internet pa lang kaya ko
skye_ashcroft: hahaha
ivy Orense: hehehe.. np
ivy Orense: unti unti
skye_ashcroft: yep
ivy Orense: mahal ba magpasmart bro?
skye_ashcroft: actually dapat sma ako sa mindoro tonite
ivy Orense: yung sa bahay namin pldt dsl
skye_ashcroft: nde naman nsa 2500
skye_ashcroft: ok na yun
ivy Orense: ic..
skye_ashcroft: kasi monthly it'll be 1000 na lang
ivy Orense: oh bat di ka sumama sa mindoro?
ivy Orense: y?
skye_ashcroft: lock in period of a year
skye_ashcroft: late na ako nasabihan
ivy Orense: ano yan may contract?
skye_ashcroft: yep
skye_ashcroft: and nung nagkita kami ni margo
ivy Orense: ilang taon
skye_ashcroft: one yr lang po
skye_ashcroft: sabi nya punta daw sils ng mindoro tonite
ivy Orense: ngak
skye_ashcroft: kaso after pumunta sa patay diresto sila ng mindoro
ivy Orense: sayang
skye_ashcroft: i know
ivy Orense: icc
skye_ashcroft: xet dude, they own a beach lot
skye_ashcroft: tang ina yumayaman na pinsan ko
ivy Orense: eh pede ka naman sumama.. manghiram ka na alng ng damit
skye_ashcroft: dati pwede un kaso
ivy Orense: ndi ba sa parents nya yun?
ivy Orense: kaso?
skye_ashcroft: it doesn't work that way na sa parents ko
ivy Orense: huh? ano ba yun...
skye_ashcroft: i can't go anywhere without their permission
skye_ashcroft: dude my parents are growing the opposite way
skye_ashcroft: tang ina talaga my mum told me again for the nth time that she will treat us as her babies even if we were already married
ivy Orense: syet chong!!!!!!
skye_ashcroft: how crazy is that?
skye_ashcroft: totally screwed up right?
ivy Orense: ang tanda mo na!! kailangan ka pa bang bantayan!
ivy Orense: pak!
skye_ashcroft: i know, kaya no wonder na tawag ako ng officemate ko na alagain
skye_ashcroft: because of that
ivy Orense: sobra! your screwed
skye_ashcroft: i know so how can i possibly have a decent relationship with anyone
skye_ashcroft: if your mum is always on your back in a annoying way
ivy Orense: ganito na lang.. magtrabaho para makapagtapos sa work
ivy Orense: ay sa pagaaral pla
ivy Orense: sorry mali
skye_ashcroft: ok lang...
ivy Orense: ayun tapos work ulit.. tapos pag kaya na.. bumukod ka na
skye_ashcroft: yep... but i need to find a place on my own
ivy Orense: yah i know
skye_ashcroft: so that i could move away from my parents
ivy Orense: magipon ka ng malaki
ivy Orense: tapos punta ka dito!
ivy Orense: wahahahaha
ivy Orense: dito ka magwork
skye_ashcroft: i really need to go somewhere far from the metro or to another country
ivy Orense: bukod na bukod ka na nun!
skye_ashcroft: yeah that's my plan
ivy Orense: yeaaaahhhh!!!
skye_ashcroft: i think i have saved enough to go there
ivy Orense: wahahaha
ivy Orense: sama sama ulit
skye_ashcroft: kaso i still need to save up so that i could stay there longer
ivy Orense: and enough money is not enough.. swertihan din makahanap work dito
skye_ashcroft: it's always been there
ivy Orense: tama yan.. ipon ipon ipon
skye_ashcroft: and i'm crossing my fingers that i could get a decent job when i get there
ivy Orense: tama.. studies
ivy Orense: ako din.. cross fingers
skye_ashcroft: thanks! i think i'll need that
skye_ashcroft: pero come to think of it ok nadin na ganun si mama
skye_ashcroft: wehehe at least may mauuwian pa ako
ivy Orense: sabagay
skye_ashcroft: it's nice but sometimes they do get on your nerves
ivy Orense: ang pamilya lang andyan pagwala na ang lahat
ivy Orense: yup
skye_ashcroft: true
skye_ashcroft: and i'm keeping those who are important to me
skye_ashcroft: dude so far as what i've learned from the past years
skye_ashcroft: i've gained and lost some friends along the way
skye_ashcroft: pero i have alot of friends but what i have which means you... is a real friend
ivy Orense: sige type ka lang dude..
ivy Orense: teka yosi lang muna..
skye_ashcroft: tsk wag ka ng mag yosi
skye_ashcroft: bawal dyan sa sing!!!
ivy Orense: naks! i'm tats!
skye_ashcroft: hahahaha
ivy Orense: wahahaha di tuloy ako naka-alis
ivy Orense: wahahaha
skye_ashcroft: did it moved you?
skye_ashcroft: hahaha
skye_ashcroft: pero that was said in all sincerity ah
ivy Orense: it did
skye_ashcroft: no bullcrap or whatsoever
ivy Orense: hahaha
ivy Orense: i know
ivy Orense: same here chong
skye_ashcroft: eh alam mo naman un eh
skye_ashcroft: ikaw at ikaw lang naman din talaga tsong kabatak ko in the end
ivy Orense: i know when i come back or visit the phils.. andyan ka lang
skye_ashcroft: whether i made a lousy mistake or not you've always been there
ivy Orense: =)
skye_ashcroft: of course
ivy Orense: =)
skye_ashcroft: i'm always gonna be here

I'm Crushing on You....

2008-10-30T20:52:00.005+08:00

"You made me fall, it's not the face but rather the beautiful voice. I'm gonna keep myself posted if your gonna have gigs somewhere here in the metro....."

For now, let me bore myself more.... Just by doing this....

What are you listening to right now?
I Know - Ashley Gosiengfiao (my new crush) tee hee the girl in the picture
.
What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?
* 8271
.
What was the last thing you ate?

beef broccolli with tofu. Doing the healthy lifestyle
.
How is the weather right now?

hmmm... i guess humid and hot
.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

none so far
.
Favourite type of Food:

Anything but i am picking when it comes to veggies and fishies

.
Do you drink?

yeah like water. it is essential right?
.
colour of your car?

not really my car my car's mum it's blue
.
Eye colour?

brown
.
Do you wear contacts/glasses?

i wear glasses

.
Favourite holiday?

none in particular
.
Last Movie you Watched?

Storm breaker but I'm looking forward for Changeling
.
How are you feeling?

just plainly bored
.
What were you doing before filling this out?

listening to her song....
.
Any pets?

hmmm, would the stray cats be considered as pets?
.
.
Do you like to travel by plane?

hmmm... can't say? it's been a long time eh
.
Do you have a tattoo?

yep, two in fact. Ü
.
Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?

not on Saturdays on Sundays i do... hey I'm a kid at heart....
.
What is the wallpaper on your mobile?

a jumping bear
.
Did you get enough sleep last night?

nowadays yeah i do
.
Grilled or fried?

* Grilled
.
Are you afraid of the dark?

it depends, after watching a horror film. yeah, that'll give me goosebumps
.
Favourite tv show?

Chuck and Cashmere Mafia
.
What's your favourite colour/s?

Gray (being "in between" is fine)

What are the things you always take with you?

Mobile phone, my inhaler, wet wipes
.
What do you wanna be when you were a kid?

a lying lawyer (hahahaha.... though the perspective have already changed)

What do you usually do when the clock turns 11:11

why, is there something special about this time?
.
The colour of your bedsheets?

Blue
.
.
Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?

yeah like a snake bite labret but my friend already sports that on her lips. In fact, I'd do tattoo in my back. I'd prefer that way since i like the burning sensation.
.
If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?

I'm busy
.
Are you a morning person or a night person?

* night person
.
do people underestimate you?

i dunno, i am born naive

.
What was the worst mistake of your life?

i can't elaborate that...not here. Ü
.
Do you like walking in the rain?

yeah, especially when your crying for something or someone. .

.
If you HAD to get a piercing (not ears) what would you get?

eyebrow piercing

HairSpray the MUSICAL....

2008-10-26T17:49:00.000+08:00

Hi! i still have tickets for the November 23, 3pm show of HAIRSPRAY THE MUSICAL at the Star Theatre, CCP Complex. you can get in touch with me via YM, email (joyalano@gmail.com) or mobile (0917 620 6303) for ticket inquiries and reservations. I can also send you the seat plan via email upon request. Thanks! :D

That Says It All....

2008-10-20T20:02:00.003+08:00

"we followed the rules, and we got screwed"

thinking about it... i never followed conformity... although, if it is really needed or if my ass is on the line already i think I'll follow...ehem, that was my thoughts back then... now, that i have recently resigned from my previous job, i think doing nothing is worse than going to work and cursing yourself why your still there.

On a Lighter Note:

I'm always online checking emails, my social networks, online games and "ym-ing". I know that she's pre - occupying my mind right now but come to think about it,i don't want to make her my world. I still have other things to think and give importance as well. Whenever we got out with her friends they always ask me :

"So, are you in a commitment now? Or you'll just be exclusively dating all your lives?"
*Blank face for me and never said a word and walked away*

Whoa, now that got me off - guard i never thought about it. For the past 2 months we've been seeing each other for coffee or late night dinners somewhere in the metro. Knowing myself as what I've already mentioned over and over esp. in this blog that I am an emotional cripple just by mentioning the word "relationship or commitments" scares the living daylights out of me. She knows. So, I guess that is the reason why Fate brought us to each others arms again because of that idea. But since your out of town and visiting your parents and loved ones back in CDO.... wheeee, this sounds so cheesy "I Miss You Already"

Anyway, i chanced upon this song in youtube. Eva Avila - Fallin' For You it's an RNB-ish song but it's a good one. check the lyrics, ayt? Email me back once you've read this blog. Wahaha, oh i know you will. I have so much to tell that this space won't be enough to cover all the stuff I want to tell you. So, please go home soon right? Ü By the way when you get home, there's a band i want you to check out or we can check them out, the bands name is Nyctinasty they're like the girl version of Typecast. They're good i tell yah...

posted is the lyrics:

Fallin' For You - Eva Avila

I'm falling for you
I'm falling for you
I'm falling for you

I have got a sweet obsession
You have captured my attention
How am I gon' get me through the day?

Tried to get you out my mind
But damn, you creep in every time
Oh boy, I never thought I'd feel this way

[Chorus:]
Cuz you got my head a-spinning
just like a carousel
Thinking of you every minute,
I know it's crazy
but true
I'm fa-la-la-la-falling for you
Kind of like a constant craving,
I'm underneath
your spell
Baby there ain't no escaping;
I know it's crazy
but true
Fa-la-la-la-falling for you

Why'd you have to touch me like you do?
You know there's no resisting you
I feel a shiver every time

I'm saying whoa! Baby, what you doing to me?
Out of control! And it's taking over me
Gotta let you know! I ain't gonna give up till
you're mine

[Chorus:]
Cuz you got my head a-spinning
just like a carousel
Thinking of you every minute,
I know it's crazy
but true
I'm fa-la-la-la-falling for you
Kind of like a constant craving,
I'm underneath your spell
Baby there ain't no escaping;
I know it's crazy but true
Fa-la-la-la-falling for you

You got me falling for you baby
And I don't know what I'm gon' do
You got me crawling; I'm falling falling falling
for you
You got me falling for you baby
And I don't know what I'm gon' do
You got me crawling
I'm falling falling falling for you

[Chorus:]
Cuz you got my head a-spinning just like a
carousel
Thinking of you every minute,
I know it's crazy
but true
I'm fa-la-la-la-falling for you
Kind of like a constant craving,
I'm underneath
your spell
Baby there ain't no escaping;
I know it's crazy
but true
Fa-la-la-la-falling for you

You got me falling for you baby
And I don't know what I'm gon' do
You got me crawling; I'm falling falling falling
for you
You got me falling for you baby
And I don't know what I'm gon' do
You got me crawling
I'm falling falling falling for you

I'm falling for you
I'm falling for you

3voluTi0n@ry 3Ch0....

2008-10-03T10:31:00.000+08:00

sometimes you feel like everybody's gone
your all alone, the pain never ceases to end
in your lucid dreams, in your frail soul
your wondering whats keeping you from moving on?

why can't you realize that she's your heroine
the drug that makes you delusional
if this the perfect song
then i think you could've listened

you've gone deaf, you've gone blindnow move on and break that habit....

"IT" didn't Rocked my world...

2008-10-02T15:21:00.002+08:00

Would you believe it, i never felt that there was a low intensity earthquake this morning? geez, does this mean that I've become insensitive as well with my surroundings?

My insensitivity has gotten worse from bad. too bad for my sorry ass if i wasn't able to feel that...
anyway, that was just my two cents.

Awhile ago, we tried the New Bombay Restaurant at The Columns in Makati after our work and the food was ok pero it was a taste challenge for me if i can really handle the spices. Guess what? hahaha... the freaking rice was so spicy and hot pero keri ko xa. But i completely forgot that i have an allergy in eating chicken and eating too much cheese can cause migraine for me... Now, i can feel the allergy kicking in and the migraine is starting to bang my head now....

Got to rest na... kasi i still have work pa later... good Luck to Me....

hahaha.....

Her Experimental Games and More....

2008-10-01T10:53:00.005+08:00

Someone's not telling me something...it's funny, it's been awhile since I've known her. i guess, she likes to hide a lot things from people and i completely understand why. however, i just feel sorry for her "whatever" back in Italy since she doesn't have any idea what's been happening here while she's away. hmmm... i think, I'd
really go for my first option and that is to sever the ties i had with her and my other friend. since, i don't want to include myself in the complexity of her "life" life. I'd stick to the people i know and bonded with, in this current account of mine.

geez, i never met someone who's so in a way like a "player" as what they would put it. maybe she has her own reasons why she's keeping her "past" now and not moving forward with "present".
heck, *let me bang my head on the wall* at this age? geez, everyone's playing no one likes to stick to one relationship anymore... who am i kidding? the word "commitment" does not exist anymore in my vocabulary so why am i reacting? whatever the fates decides upon so be it...

for the mean time my clock is ticking and i still haven't decided where to go which i find so crazy. December is nearing and i need the extra income so that i could give nice gifts to my nieces... hahaha and I'm still drooling for the next design that i want to be tattooed on my back or on my shoulders.... hmmm.... that would be very nice. really it would be...

* just an update: hahaha.... i can no longer locate the printed blog piece.... it would be nice if I re- post that here....* =p

=================================

the drugs don't work as what you used to expect
it caused panic and nausea on your part
you've gone sober now... and you just want to be free

what you're feeling right now is quite different from before
cry for me like you never cried before,
i've gone mental... i won't even fall for your mental games not anymore...
i'm gonna leave you like my one hit liners before.

It's a long drive to "Vegas Skies"....

2008-09-29T18:35:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling all cheery today which I find so weird, since most of the time I'm being in my "all time low". I think this week might end up as a good one. But nevertheless, i shouldn't expect anything at all since it might turn out the opposite way.
The sudden rush of things, it is so overwhelming.... truly it is. Or it could be my "........" oh sheesh, you already know who you are and i know you have been reading my posts for quite some time now.

By the way, i think I have saved enough money for my Singapore trip next year. wupee!!! Guys (Karen and Ivy) you'll be seeing me soon.

============================================

on my playlists:

vegas skies - the cab
make it mine - jason mraz

uy, feelings ko talaga pinaglalaruan lang ako... let's see what happens sweety. The word commitment has been erased from my vocabulary, I already told you a few times already that I am an "emotional cripple"... let's hope for the better ok????

Au Revoir!

2008-09-26T16:26:00.002+08:00

Come October time, I'll be counting the days left i have with the company. A lot of things are going inside this head of mine... questions on where to go next, when shall i start to find a new career and why am i really leaving... So, should i go ahead and sever the ties i had with the people i just recently met? I'm just trying to avoid being in a "depression"mode whenever i'm alone....

Really now? crazy thoughts have pre - occupied my thoughts lately. I know you were just trying to help me sort out things, but you know me better than the rest. What do you think i should do? I wonder... Heck, i'm just repeating myself here...

=======================================

Just a thought... i want to compare a friend of mine and her "whatever" to Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson. hahaha... now i'm laughing about it now.

=======================================

On a lighter note:

Dang! ADMU won now that sucks! But HOORAH to SAN BEDA!!! woot! go go go my dear alma mater!

on my playlist:

until the end of time - justine timberlake & beyonce
like a star - corrine bailey rae
heaven - los lonely boys
i kissed a girl - katy perry (beat that huh?!)

Look at the skyline....

2008-09-22T01:52:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday I already submitted my resignation letter. I have only one month left and everyone is making a fuss about it, which shouldn't be anyone's business. Heck, even some of my relatives are questioning me about my resignation. I know I should wait after December before I leave but I can't wait that long.

I’m trying to forget this depression that I’m feeling right now because I don’t want this to ruin my whole week.

=========================================

On a lighter note:

I had my first pt session last Saturday and it was relieving. For that I still have 5 more sessions left.

This coming Friday Urbandub will have a gig at Hard Rock and I am going to watch them play good music. Hahahaha….

Should I Stay or Should I Go????

2008-09-16T17:06:00.003+08:00

"Pls. stop asking me questions!!!" geez, i ain't turning back and i ain't gonna eat my pride. I already made up my mind. I'm not happy anymore, plus the way I'm seeing things now...It would just get worse.

The margin of error would be high come this holiday season, so now i just want to say "good luck" and "good riddance" to me. I know, I'm getting to be a pain in the butt for that i do not care at all...

For the French Supe, you won't be seeing my face anymore... i think you should be planning a party now, like i would care...not!

It would be a waste of time and effort if I'm going to stay longer since everybody's leaving anyway... there is no reason for me to stay. As for my friends, you have my number... so know what to do.

My Last Week...

2008-09-08T14:06:00.005+08:00

Officially, this would be my last week of meeting my required stats for work. After this week, i'll be rendering my resignation. I need not elaborate why i'm quitting my job... i guess, there's no need to.

Last Saturday spent some time with an old fling of mine, and we are now trying to work things out.
Crossing my fingers that this time everything would go smoothly as we planned it to be...

hay, another week. ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY as they would always say.

=====================================

Note:

Congratulations to the UP PEP Squad for yet giving a stellar performance on last week's Cheer Dance Competition....

*_*

The Eraserheads was so Bitin ATBP....

2008-09-02T10:20:00.005+08:00

Last saturday was a dream come true since i was able to attend the concert of Eraserheads which molded me to like alternative, pop rock or whatever you might call it. I couldn't care less if i attended the concert alone. Heck, i was there to enjoy the concert and not to mingle and socialize.

There i was, the adrenaline rush started to kick in...The sleepiness and hunger that i felt on my way to the concert venue was gone. Ely (the front man) started the show with Alapaap, everyone was singing along, jumping and clapping. The whole venue went crazy and so am i... it nearly brought me to tears since memories flashed back one after the other. From the day when Ely's sister Elyra was handing out posters of her brother's first album (Ultramangneticpop) until i bought the last album Carbon Stereoxide. Yes, Ely's sister was my classmate back then until we graduated elementary...hahaha, i think during our graduation nobody paid attention to the ceremony itself everyone was anticipating to get a picture side by side with Ely and have his autograph. Yeah, i had that moment and i kept that picture in one of my albums.

Then of, to high school that's how i really appreciated the whole Eraserheads thing- y until they disbanded back in 2002. Everyone was disappointed since hell, they were LEGENDS!!! i tell yah!!! Legends in the Pinoy Rock scene. So, going back one song after the other i was singing my lungs out, clapping. I need not to refresh all there songs since i have memorized all of them in my heart. Inspirations and aspirations to be just like them. Total geniuses, i said to myself when i was there. After 13 to 14 songs, they had the interval for 20 minutes and i decided to buy a drink but it was more than 20 minutes and the second half still hasn't started yet. Then, there it was the announcement made by Lally that they won't be able to continue the concert because Ely had an attack again. Everyone went quiet, still in shock... it took me an hour before the whole thing sinked in. I thought it was joke, and no it was not.

I don't care about the money i spent to get the ticket. What I'm wishing for right now is that I hope that there would be another reunion concert since it was BITIN. Crossing my fingers that there would be another one.... hehehe....

------------------------------------

ATBP:

Saw my ex-fling there, she saw me talked and i can't believe that she's back from CDO. hehehe, she looks so "refreshed" since it was a long time since the last time i saw her. It's good to know that your doing ok and everything's fine now and congratulations!

saw some old "friends" of mine... hope you enjoyed the concert.

A Hug

2008-08-22T13:19:00.003+08:00

A hug could mean a lot, it's your birthday. I just greeted you a happy birthday awhile ago before i went home. You surprised me with that hug, by doing that right then and there i felt like i was melting already. You never cease to amaze me, intelligent, sweet and unpredictable. Ever since we moved to the 5th floor, how i wish i could tell you that i really missed you. Those stolen glances then you'd smile at me back.

If only i can tell you all this, but we both know that i can't since it'll only create tsismis sa floor. Being the talk of the town is least thing i wanted. Anyway, i have this crazy idea of not washing my shirt and hang it in my closet... nah, i was just joking.

Happy Birthday!!!

A Minute Til Midnight...

2008-08-18T19:18:00.003+08:00

A minute until midnight and here i am still thinking about you? how are you? is he/she keeping you company right now? i just thought about you awhile ago, and i was just thinking what if i asked you out for coffee? hell no, i ain't gonna ask you out for a movie that is so high - "schoolish". A poetry reading perhaps? I know a good one somewhere in Katipunan, but i do not know if you even like poetry. *sigh* anyway, i guess... we'll never have the chance to hook up. Ewww, i sound so like a f*ckin' stalker here.

No one would even bother to notice me and this crowd. Not even you will notice me from this crowd. I'm just this wallflower, trust me. My tongue starts to stutter and my mouth mumbling nonsense in the air. Emotions all said in air and tomorrow would just be another day. By profession, we know each other but i want more than that. I want you to know me better and if you're my cure then i need to be cured now. You should know that you were the cause why I'm acting all jittery and my stomach filled with butterflies. Tonight, we'll see each other just hi and hello's will be exchanged nothing more and nothing less.

No matter how many cigarettes i smoke, books i read and rosaries i pray... my heart won't believe that your still here and I'm caught in the middle of it.

================================

On lighter note:

new evaluation again, so what's in store?

i changed my play list. I guess, I'm done with the "emo" contemplating.

Currently Listening to:
Still Here - Aural Float
Feels Good - David Morales (OST of Don't Mess With the Zohan)

* this Wednesday, I'm gonna try to watch Wall-E.

I look at the stars....

2008-08-10T20:34:00.004+08:00

I look at the stars, i hope you see them too... I miss you.

I had a dream about you. I certainly miss you, wasn't able to keep track of the time when i used to make you laugh with my silly jokes. My annoying questions that no matter how you tried to be irritated by it, you just can't because i know that i was just playing. Conversations that would last until the wee hours of the morning and dreams that you wanted to be this and to accomplish that.
From you i learned the art of waiting and that patience was a virtue, and your a habit i just cannot break. Oh jeez, i know that you know that already and that i need not say it anymore. Then, I'd wake up tomorrow with this memory in mind.

These words will come out naturally as already mentioned a hundred times.

=================================

on a lighter note:

after one year of not playing the bass guitar, i started to play it again and hold it. Familiarize myself with the scales, hopefully this would prepare mo for the so-called "gig" that my friend volunteered me into. i just don't like making a fool out of myself in front those people that i do not know. *_* but just in case, i already hired the services of a friend who i know can play kick ass bass.

a new week, a new month. will i stay for another year?

on my playlist:

the juliana theory and mayday parade....
and some Hed Kandi chill out tracks.

Ü

New Month? A start of a new year?

2008-08-03T16:18:00.004+08:00

I can officially say that i am now a corporate slave, been one since i started working. Whew, one year? I didn't even noticed that I was celebrating my one year. To my batch mates who I started with day one from the people I've met along the way and now to the account I've been with for almost 6 months and counting. I cannot say that I'm going to stay there for the rest of my life but still there are opportunities waiting for me outside or if they can offer a good lateral movement for me, why not?

See how odd it is? ewww, that sounds creepy to be finally included as a young preppy professional... hey can i object to that? and can slacking be considered as a job? hmmm... let's see what would happen if i slack off for one month? hahaha....

================================

on a lighter note:

i'm currently listening to :
Dear Maria, Come In - All Time Low
Never Look Back - Still Life Projector

and i'm planning to watch the Mummy 3 and Wall-E. *_*

A Real Dark Night for the Dark Knight

2008-07-27T20:39:00.006+08:00

After seeing the film two hours ago, i was quite disappointed with the new Batman movie. I guess, i expected too much that it nearly ruined the excitement i had for the film. Bale as Batman was an "a-ight" performance and Heath Ledger (bless his soul!) as Joker was quite weird since that character has a "don't - care - kind - of - an - attitude". He rarely laughed and he was way too serious... Or maybe i am just over reacting since i am such an avid fan of the uncanny Hero. *_*

Anyway, i would like to commend the actors and actresses as well as the Nolan brothers for bringing substance to the movie. I am now looking forward to watch Hellboy II. *_*

--------------------------------------------------

err... did i mention that my ultimate crush Edison Chen was in the movie though he had a cameo for about 5- 10 seconds. *_* nevertheless, is he or is he so freakin' hot! *_*

note:
check out - still life project
currently listening to - object of my affection and never look back

5 more days and Counting

2008-07-26T21:28:00.002+08:00

Come July 30th, it would now be my first year with my first serious work. However, there were a mighty few of us left in our original batch out of 13 original trainees for our first account 4 were left. One already promoted to be a tier 2 and the rest are performers in their respective accounts. So far, so good i guess? We had to re- schedule our one year celebration since my batch mate was on leave for 2 weeks and she'll be coming in second week of August. Hopefully, it'll push through..

-----------------------------
other notes:

the French sup is getting on my nerves now.... I was planning to study French next month, but rather not to.... I'd rather stick to what i'm already familiar with which is Spanish...
Hehehe... plans plans plans.....

What will i do next? hmmm.....

My Quick Get Away....

2008-07-19T22:50:00.006+08:00

For the past few days, i went on leave which i have to beg since we're not really allowed to have a long one. Trust me, for me to be able to have my leaves approved i was like so being "good" and it was a hard thing for me to do since it was so not me.

Anyway, I'll just make it short and sweet. I will not upload my pictures of my trip on my social network sites since the trip i made was simply for my eyes only. I need not share the experience i had. *_* bleh =p It's not that i am being selfish, but there are just somethings that needs to be kept privately. The memories are all in film, I'd rather go old school. Taking photographs are far better than taking pictures. Those memories printed in film are kept with care than letting people see what stupidity or something nice you've done. The printed images will be kept in one album about my mishaps, success, laughter and sorrow, these i will show to my nieces and nephews or kids even (the question is if I'm going to have one *_* hahaha....)

Surfing in La Union was the best, Thanks kuya Anthony for the free lodging, our 6 hr trip was all worth it even though it was for only a day and half. I love the sweet smell of the ocean air in the morning. *_* C-bay will always have 3 cheers for the night i spent bar hopping there, people from all walks of life was there. Some were sober and some were so uber-ly drunk. Simply put, crazy and fun!!!
I do not care if i have to spend some more definitely I'll be coming back soon. *_* maybe after La Union i could try Baler, Aurora. I heard the swells there are freaking crazy and dangerous just the way i like it.

Online Dancing? Pick One

2008-07-14T16:29:00.003+08:00

AUDITION VS HIGH STREET 5 VS iDANCE

Here's a Sample of Audition:

============================================

Sample of iDance:

============================================

Sample of High Street 5

=============================================

i never thought that there have been a lot of online dancing games created. *_* tee hee....

Before and Now....

2008-07-13T21:05:00.004+08:00

***10 YEARS AGO (1998)***

1) How old were you?

- 14 turning 15 then...

2) Where did you go to school?

- somewhere...

3) Where did you work?

- ah lemme see... i was still in school that time

4) Where did you live?

- somewhere south of the metro

5) Where did you hang out?

- classmates house or at our own mini version of Dawson's creek... which was like an unchartered forest. (swear it's true!)

6) Did you wear contacts?

- nope, glasses

7) Who was your best friend?

- hmmmm... did i have one during that time? none that i could think of? but i do have a lot of close friends

8) How many tattoos did you have?

- none, but i was planning to have one in the near future...

9) How any piercings did you have?

- a pair

10) Did you drive a car?

- nah, i'm a minor c'mon...

11) Had you been to a real party?

- house party? would that count?

12) Had you had your heart broken?

- nah, but i certainly broke someone's heart...

13) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorce?

- Single

14) Any Kids?

- duh, minor?!

***TODAY (2008)***

1) How old are you?

- 25

2) Where do you go to school?

- nah, already graduated but planning to finish my 2nd degree though

3) Where do you worK?

- PS-makati

4) Where do you live?

- still somewhere south of the metro

5) Where do you hang out?

- depends... house, mall or somewhere quiet....

6) Do you wear contacts?

- nope, i'm still wearing glasses....

7) Who is/are your best friend(s)?

- none... coz it's like being unfair to your close friends

8) How many tattoos do you have?

-now? i got TWO big ones... hehehe and planning to add another one....

9) How many piercings do you have?

- 5 piercings now...

10) Do you drive a car?

- yeah, but I can't drive alone. my mum doesn't trusts my way of driving....hehehe... (call me a "reckless" driver)

11) Have u been to a real party?

-yeah, house parties.... hehehe... will that count?

12) Have you had your heart broken?

- Yeah.

13) Single/Taken/Married/Divorce?

- Single...

14) Any kids?

-none...

================================

on a lighter note:

i think nothing much has changed except for the age and the people i've met along the way. but i surely believe that nothing is permanent, everything changes...people change. Whew, by the end of the month (still crossing my fingers) it'll be one year for me @ PS. i couldn't believe that I'm still alive and surviving the daily routines of my work and by that only; i can now tell myself that there's hope for me. That patience is a virtue... hahaha... me and my remaining batch mates will celebrate our pre-one year celebration this coming Saturday. Nes, Mitzi, Chet and Me have known each other for a year now which i find cool. *_* True people indeed, and i don't regret my stay in PS. *_*

Enough about work...

i still haven't created a character for CABAL; the game providers should upgrade/add servers since most of the time it's bloody full.

i'm so into:

inside out - mayday parade
take this to heart (not for granted) - leah star gazing
liars and battlelines - rookie of the year

"it's hurts so much now to be torn inside out....
you'll be everything i wish for...."

How to Get Venus...

2008-07-07T17:12:00.004+08:00

I'm going to try Cabal.ph by e-Games.ph but there is no assurance that I'm going to like the game since I'm new and i will try to familiarize myself with this new game. But it doesn't mean that i would forget about my characters in Audition, nah i certainly won't.

In addition, since I've already registered to the new game. i am now trying to log in to the Venus server in which i am having a hard time because it's bloody full. Maybe, i will try logging in next weekend. *_*

==========================================

after a long weekend, it's time for work again. The annoyingly monotonous routine, so am i ready? the brain is not functioning so boo hoo to them. hahaha...

in my playlist:
say anything - resounding
escape the fate - not good enough
crash car burn - serenade
the forecast - these lights

"i can see you but i can't touch you..."

A random Survey....ATBP.

2008-07-03T16:10:00.006+08:00

Since my friend called me a cheeseball, let me answer this random survey.

1. A friend whose name starts with 'G'

☺ Gail

2. Last mall you went to?

☺Alabang Town Center last Sunday

3. What's your post shoutout?

☺ "I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time...."

4. Current mood?

☺ bored

5. What did you do last night?

☺ sleep but i was planning to go out since i was on leave that night.

6. How many hours of sleep do you

usually have?

☺ if i am lucky enough, sometimes 8 but most of the time 6 hrs during workdays.

7. What words do you say a lot?

☺ Po and opo.

8. What was the last thing you drank?

☺ strawberry soya.

9. Do you watch TV?

☺ yeah, but a scheduled program only. Like chuck every mondays and prince of tennis after lunch.

10. Music you're into?

☺ This would sound weird but i like post hardcore, rock, alternative and chill out/trance music.

11. Do you have school tomorrow?

☺ i used to, but not anymore though i'm still planning to go back. hehehe...

12. Do you have nicknames?

☺ yep.

13. Do you believe in love at first

sight?

☺ No.

14. Who's the youngest one in the

family?

☺ My Brother

15. Best movie you've seen in the past

weeks?

☺Kung Fu Panda (this movie is crazy! ) then i guess Wanted. Ü

16. Next place you'll go?

☺ Office.

17. Next time you're going out?

☺ Tomorrow after the shift, team building daw.

18. Next thing you're going to save

money for?

☺ after I'm done for my Singapore expense, a Les Paul guitar. heck heck

19. Next person you are going to call?

☺ can't think of anyone

20. Fave song/s as for now?

☺ inside out by mayday parade

21. chocolate cake or strawberry ice

cream?

☺ can't i have both???

22. What song is currently playing?

☺ Liars and Battlelines - rookie of the year

23. Any pets? what are their names?

☺ I used to have a cat kaso lang dedz na. (Due to old age... btw, his name is Ningning)

24. Which do u prefer? jollibee or

mcdo?

☺ McDo since it the nearest fastfood place in our office (which is located in the ground floor)

25. Wendy's or kfc?

☺ wendy's

26. Ever broken someone's heart?

☺ maybe, i don't know? ask them...

27. Ever had your heart broken?

☺ hmmmm...yep, and now i don't know the feeling anymore.

28. What's inside your pocket?

☺ coins

29. Fave past time?

☺ trying to get some sleep since i am sleep deprived.

30. best place you'd rather be?

☺ Antwerp, Belgium (been here na kasi and the experience was awesome! )

================================================

"it's the leap of faith, I'll take without question"

Btw:

wow, yesterday's misadventure was a real eye opener. it was my first time to be in a squatters area esp. in a wake. The granddad of my officemate recently passed away so as a way of extending our condolences; me and some of my officemates went to the place which is somewhere in blumentritt. For our mode of transportation, bus...lrt...then tricycle which i didn't mind. *_* but when we finally got there after inhaling all the smog, the shock on my face. the house was literally near the railroad tracks, it's like the house is just a few inches away from the tracks. But i was disappointed kasi i want to experience the feeling na umuuga yung house habang dumadaan yung tren. Just too bad kasi nde na daw nadaan yung tren sa house ng grandad nyan. *_*
Anyway, while at the wake it was like any normal wake. People playing cards while waiting for the merienda to be served even though na nde nila kilala yung namatay. Mga manong with their big beer belly na nde nauubusan ng space for liquor (by the way, they were already drinking as early as 1.30 pm grabe sa aga. ). We stayed there for almost 3 hours then went home of course, ako lang mag isa umuwi kasi lahat sila pa north ako lang ang pa south. Pero ok lang kasi marami ako nakasabay na taga kulasa, la salle and tipol - manila which made my day quite good. Hehehe... un lang, that's my 2 cents for the day.

hay, papasok na naman ako mamaya...can't wait for my one week leave 2 weeks from now. *_*

Wedding of the Month...

2008-06-29T22:37:00.004+08:00

"Best Wishes to the Newly Wed...

boo hoo for me if i wasn't able to attend one of your monumental moments in your life...

too bad for me if i was not there to witness the joining of two destined souls...

fate led you to each other and fate will always be there for the rest of your lives...

blessed be always...."

- err i regret when i wasn't able to attend your wedding today. oh I'm sure, it's one those solemn moments and i am happy for you. But i really did plan to go if it wasn't for our driver and my wonderful(?) mum said sarcastically of course. i even bought a formal wear for your wedding and all they have to do was ruin it in a matter of minutes. how lucky can i be?

Speaking of, i just noticed that the whole month of June all the bad luck and mishaps have happened. Let me cite some examples, first i lost one of my favorite jacket which i had for almost 6 months, then when i had my laundry done two weeks ago the laundry shop lost my vintage gray sweatshirt. hopefully, July would be good to me since I'll be needing it. MY work is really stressing me out and here i am trying to stay calm and be cool about it which by the way I'm trying very hard to do. I don't want to snap because it may lead to something very nasty that i might regret doing in the end.

==========================================

btw:
i do not think that Wanted is a good movie... in my own opinion i guess i didn't like how the movie ended esp. if your an Angelina Jolie fan, this movie you shouldn't see. (trust me)

my nonsensical thoughts are as follows:

I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time....

And you want to be dressed in poetry
But imagery doesn't fit
And you want resizing
But darling dear get a grip
Dazaam

safe ride - cute is what we aim for

I've buried my heart in exchange for the pain of believing...

Ode to MY Jacket...

2008-06-22T17:39:00.001+08:00

“I can’t cry alone and I’m weak, I hate myself.
I’ve buried my heart in exchange for the pain of believing…”

I am now mourning for the loss of my jacket; it was a good six months that I had that comfy and reliable jacket of mine. It maybe a short span of time but I really liked my black jacket. Just like my jacket; someone I know of is sad because someone important (and when I say important; she really is important) to her and has no choice but to go since her dad was marrying her step mom in a different place.
Whether it maybe a thing or a live person you’ll know how important their existence means when you no longer see it or touch it. For now; no words would comfort what you feel… in a matter of days you’ll re-think everything that you have decided for the past few days. Then you’ll realize that you and Nikki looked good together; it’s like half of your heart was taken and I understand that your finding ways to try and make things normal even though in reality your not doing ok. Cry like you never cried before; it only shows that you’re hurting as well. Write your feelings in paper not in air; don’t turn to alcohol or to other people who you think would fill in to what Nikki had left. At that moment, you’ll notice normalcy will take place. She’ll be back or you’ll decide to follow her as well. Try to be strong for her; for she has no one she could talk to there unlike you who have friends and a family who cares deeply for you.
Just as what I said to you; I’ll be doing the same thing. Eventually, I’ll pick up with the pieces I’ve lost. A new jacket will replace the old one, but it will not be the same it will be a different comfort and a different feeling. Things happen for a reason and there are no accidents. MY ode is almost done; let the natural forces take their rightful places for I will not regret nor cry about this anymore. Let tomorrow be a new day… I rest my piece. Done.

Hey, I should be done with my Teenage Angst...

2008-06-07T18:32:00.002+08:00

Sunday 5.24 am May 25, 2008

I couldn’t believe it; I’m really joining the account outing today. This is so not me, really not me. Hay. The reason why I joined that company outing was I thought that she was also joining the out of town trip but to my disappointment she was not there. What a waste of time… Anyway, I have no choice I was already there so moving forward I will try to enjoy and bask in the sun which eventually didn’t happen since I was so drunk during our first night there. In addition, I think that my name is already banned in that resort because I so freaking wasted that we have to change linens. Hahaha… as my office mate would put it… ( I am such an “alagain – meaning I am such a baby that I need so much attention when I am drunk) but thanks for the care though, really appreciate it.

Now back to reality, the day after that company outing so many things have happened that some are already making “tsismis” of what happened there. Like, this person hooked up with another person, that someone was really gay but keeps denying it and all the people there are sore losers. Hayz, so that’s what you call reality bites.

Saturday June 07, 2008

The so-called team building. I intentionally ditched since I was not feeling the people that were going to that some videoke bar near our workplace. I guess, I was just too stressed out that I’d rather stay at home; think what I’m going to do later this evening which up until now I still don’t know what to do since I haven’t had my sleep yet. This is so frustrating that I really want to do something but I just couldn’t figure out what it is. Do I really want to sleep or I want to do something else?
Anyway, my brain now is half asleep probably this is an indication that I am getting sleepy and tired already. But to be honest, I am getting bored already from my work because it is always the same thing and I hate this I am the opposite of monotonous routine. I want to venture to other things…FATES you decide coz my just buying my time here…

Wish me LUCK….

It's been tad tiring and boring....

2008-05-11T19:59:00.005+08:00

Last Friday's production was really crazy, i was really expecting that i'll be given a behavioral warning for not informing my supervisor about giving a $50 discount to a customer. But heck, despite what i did a few weeks ago... it's like nothing happened. Hello? i was so waiting for it because i am tad bored with what i am doing now. Knowing myself, i can easily let go of something i am not happy about.... but guess what happened, instead of having a dreaded weekend...heck, after they talked about what has happened it's like nothing has happened. The whole thing just went "poof".

Hey! i need something to spice things up and why don't you give that to me... the rest of my batch mates were given a behavioral warning. Why not me? instead my supervisor even asked me that i should apply for a quality assurance position. Like it is the least position I'd ever apply for because IT IS BORING!! I want my brain to work and not let it rot and be stagnant.

Hay, i think life's pulling my leg again...

1. I do not like to kiss my boss' ass
2. I am an individual
3. I do not want to be stuck into something that i am not happy about.
4. I am a rebellious one so obeying rules is not my cup of tea
5. I do not like to kiss my boss' ass (err, i already mentioned that right? )

===================================

on a lighter note:

did i mention that a few days prior to this mishap, something "uber-ly" wonderful happened.
the "twit" hugged me like we are so friggin' close. and that somehow completed my week, wish it could happen again. She even called me sweet, to heck with that? *_* hehehehe... pwede isa pa mademoiselle?

remember:
0916-321-2843
seller's number of zen usb charger

Regal Shocker from the Drama Queen...

2008-05-02T10:43:00.009+08:00

From:http://caitypong.livejournal.com/
title : Monday, November 7th, 2005 1:00 pm the pupung lament and never ending band bashing

let me quote this:

"And back now to our regular programming.... I don't wanna see some of my old friends anymore. I know, I know I'm a bad human being. And no, the reason I don't want to hang out with them anymore isn't because I think I'm above them. It's just that I think we don't share the same interests anymore. Sure, blowing your brains out drinking until 4am was fun for like 5 seconds but c'mon, when you have work the next day, is it really wise to come to work with a hangover, I mean, how will you be able to work? And yes I'm concentrating on doing good now, so alcohol is definitely not on my priority list. Whatever happened to having fun even while staying in? And I just don't consider it fun anymore to act all stupid and complain about your parents or your life all the time. My teen angst ran out about 2 years ago and I really don't think that blaming your parents or anyone else about how you turn out is the best thing to do to make you feel better about yourself. And I don't think it's fun to make a person who you consider as your friend feel guilty about not wanting to drink to death anymore (Which is actually a good thing)or having different interests. I can't even have a decent conversation about say movies or music without drawing blank faces. All they want to do is reminisce about the old days when we were mad at the world, the school and we didn't give a fuck about anything. Because I do give a fuck now. I do care about the consequences of my actions. And why the hell shouldn't I? Another thing, bringing up the fact that someone in the group liked you like 4 years ago even though he got shot down like 3 times is really getting old. It's not fun, it's annoying. Get over it!!!!
It just pisses me off the way they always lay this guilt trip on me. Hey, I'd understand if someone else was feeling the same thing. To each her own. Oh well, gotta get back to work. "

* it was a freakin' shocker on how a person you've known for 4 yrs. would rant something like this on her blogsite? (to think i chanced upon it and she wrote this for almost 3 yrs now) no wonder she doesn't give a shit if there is a get together or something for that matter within our group. hmmm... i really feel disappointed. The difference of interests are there but want bonded us in the first place was the friendship during those formative years of "our- not-so-good-ol-days" but if it is the basis of how you form your friendship with someone...then i guess you did the right thing. But then again it was better to tell us about it rather than making us feel stupid that you're just busy with your effin work right now. By writing something bad about your circle of friends is a cowardly act... i just don't really get the point of not telling us about this in the first place, don't you trust us? hmmm... i think i answered my own question. Fine you have severed the ties! For that i won't even care anymore.
However, I want to ask you this; is it really hard to tell how you feel and that you don't want to hang out with us anymore? Coz i'll understand why. no questions asked. anyway, i've got nothing else to say... "You just think too highly of yourself.."

You Look so Different Today

2008-04-20T20:14:00.002+08:00

Oh woopie! i just noticed a few days ago that you look different, wasn't even expecting that you'll look that way under the natural light... why do you look so cute under the office lights? was it the silhouette? i was bothered at first but now after some thinking... i don't even care anymore.
i find the whole situation crazy since i just like looking at you and the weird thing about it is I've been looking at you from afar for quite sometime now. Moreover, i don't even know your name...sheesh, what a loser i have become...

anyway, i think i have dwelt too much on this...

my rants and raves are no where to be found...my work is slowly eating me up and i am a time bomb waiting to explode... give me a few more weeks then i think i will surely burn out unless there is another lateral opening for me to apply... hmmmmm.........

secrets don't make friends

Where to GO??? (Baguio City)

2008-04-12T08:42:00.003+08:00

dude check out nyo lang to wukie? thanks!

Atenara House

Navy (C.M. Recto) Road - provides excellent value with the best All-You-Can-Eat U.S. Roast Beef, Salad Bar & Pasta Buffet that will leave you coming back for more, for only php399 per person. By prior reservation only, 24 hours' notice, 10 persons minimum to open the buffet.

Bliss Cafe
Leonard Wood Road - awesome vegetarian dishes prepared by Jim and Santi Ward that DO NOT taste like vegetables at all! Avg check php300

Cafe by the Ruins
Otek Street - ethnic cuisine like native chicken, mountain rice, strawberry wine presented in creative ways.Set lunches cost about php350

Eve's Garden
Lamtang Road - finding it is an adventure in itself and definitely worth the trip with 10 varieties of organic lettuce freshly picked from Evelyn Bond's garden. By reservation only, Set meals cost php550.

Little John's
Camp John Hay - a place as happy and bright as Jonet Flavier, where kids get to color on the menu while waiting for the food. Must try their chocolate fondue with strawberries, banana and marshmallows. Avg check php250

O'Mai Khan
Otek Street - the old favorite Mongolian barbecue place with lots of crisp highland veggies. Avg check php300

Palizzata
Porta Vaga - a quaint little Bistro with a great view of Session Road. Their Tandoori chicken is a personal favorite. Avg check php300.Palizzata

Pizza Riccio
Governor Pack - you must try Bob's fantastic lasagna. All I can say is that I can eat his pizzas everyday. With delivery service up to 11pm. 14 inch pizza is about php350

Pizza Volante
Session Road - with 24 hours dine-in and delivery service. Great pizzas and pasta at very good prices. A 14-inch pizza will cost about php360

Rose Bowl
Harrison Road - One of two great Chinese restaurants with family-style service. Avg check php250

Star Cafe
Session Road - The other great Chinese restaurant famous for their Star Rice and Joey Rufino's personalized service. Avg check php200

============================

and places where you can go you can visit this site http://www.gobaguio.com/

From North to South

2008-04-06T21:45:00.003+08:00

I still can't believe what happened yesterday, i have lost my mojo and my pride because after a few talks and insisting i actually said "yes" to her... parang a few weeks ago the reason i didn't go sa team building namin was about her. how i was hating everything about her and here i am still shocked and confused about the whole thing. I guess i was so sleepy that time and i blame Starbucks for it(hehehe...that was a joke) anyway, going back i was invited first by her friends and as for my first reaction i had a lot of excuses for me not to go but hell no they said that since i was not able to go sa zambales trip namin i shouldn't say no now kasi it was like a mini celebration for her kasi she is like being promoted na. so, dun pa lang my excuses was not acceptable...after a few minutes or so she was there na beside me and was asking me to go, ako naman i was ready with the same excuses i used to her friends but eventually it didn't work out the way i was planning it. I SAID YES!!!

making the long story short, i was there in the van contemplating that i was going to antipolo and while i was there. Of course, i had a few drinks but not to the extent that i was getting myself drunk and be shitty as hell moreover i don't want her to see me in that awful situation. *_* yeah we did talk and finally i just realized i don't like her anymore (she's no longer my "crush"). I find it so pathetic and funny at the same time she has been all along my cure and my cause...
If she can read what's going on in my mind now, i would gladly tell her thanks! *_*

congratulations again for being promoted as a supervisor!

A Place on Solid Ground...

2008-03-25T21:47:00.006+08:00

today is the day... you march on ahead, spotlights on you now. So you wait in line, your name called out loud in the hall's big speakers. Your up there, wearing your academe uniform, you move your tassel to the right. The piece of paper that you have received is just a piece of paper that represents the time when lady academe was there during your formative years to the day when you had your first love and finally when you just realized that your walking towards hell... (hehehe, i meant the real world)

no more spoon feeding, your all alone now... the wild and harsh reality will eventually get to you.. you just wait and see...I am not scaring you, I've been there done that and there is no turning back unless you want to crawl back to your mother's womb.

enough said... this is your day and i don't want to ruin it... Do Enjoy!!!

"The Mind Bender"

2008-03-16T18:49:00.004+08:00

"For a second there i thought you disappeared..." The lull of Jason Schwartzman's voice nudges you back into the waking world. Despite a desperate urge to drift back to the mind - numbing oblivion of the Tylenol PM's you took the night before, a confrontation with your emotions is in order. The knot around your heart swan - dives into the pit of your stomach as the plane finally begins its descent towards Manila, the city you call home. Seats back up, no tray tables down. Time to switch off all electronic devices. You try to be a punk and hide your headphones under your hoodie, because the idea of your phone crashing to the beat of your favorite Jeff Buckley song is much more appealing than facing the facts your three - month hiatus from life in the real world is rapidly drawing to a close.

The city lights that faded in the wake of your departure now flare to greet you, blazing like neon "welcome home"signs built from a vulgar amount of billboards. The black and grays of Manila at night quickly materialize into sky scrapers, highways, hotels and houses. You stare out the window and trace random shapes into the fog your breath leaves on the double - paned Plexiglass. The wheels finally touch down on the runway, but you don't even notice that your plane's landed until you hear the syncopated clicking of seatbelt buckles as passengers scramble for their pasalubong in the overhead and stealthily switch on their cellphones. Welcome home, you think, as if trying to convince yourself that you're exactly where you want to be. You try and attempt to forget that just 24 hours ago, you were saying goodbye to a life you hadn't thought you wanted.

What was the concert all about AGAIN????(Part 1)

2008-03-10T13:43:00.006+08:00

so here i am again, reacting to what happened yesterday night. went there early since i was with my mum ( take note: I WAS WITH MY MOTHER.... such a loser right?), we arrived there at the concert venue around 5 or was it around 5.15pm??hmmm.. can't remember. the organizers informed us that the gates would open at 6 pm so that gives us time to roam around and check out things while waiting for the concert to start.

oh yeah, i saw a lot of celebs and local personalities while i was wasting my time looking around including my favorite local band (URBANDUB). Too bad, since the cam is inside my mother's bag so was not able to take pictures of Mr. Gabby Allipe himself and the rest of his band mates. Some of my college classmates are there as well, sheesh nothing has changed over the years. Same old same old, anyway ; moving forward... the concert already started around 5 mins after 8 pm. The MTV dj's went on stage blabbered somethings (hahaha... i was not paying any attention to them) Up Dharma Down sang 3 songs from their newest album and 2 songs from the first album... the performance lasted for 45 minutes.

then applause now people, incubus was next finally! after 3 hours or so of waiting... the concert hall by that time was already jammed packed girls of all ages was screaming brandon boyd's name telling him to take off his shirt ( tee hee i was exaggerating...) they started the show with nice to know then... so, i thought it was the "light grenades" tour??? i only heard one or 3 songs from their latest album. i was expecting to hear dig and love hurts. but boo hoo... i was a little disappointed.

anyway, the show was great... incubus did a good job! as for brandon boyd... oh wow, sexier this time around because you got firm muscles now... yummy.. hahaha....

that's it for now... i'll continue this within the week...

downside of everything

2008-03-03T16:11:00.004+08:00

what's on my play list today? here are as follows:

- everybody here wants you > jeff buckley
- the ponytail parade > emery
- when broken hearts prevail > emery
- so cold i could see my breath > emery
- the walls > emery
- liar in the glass > eyes set to kill
- violet kiss > eyes set to kill
- beauty through broken glass > eyes set to kill
- i'll find mine > meg & dia
- just one of those things > meg & dia
- monsters > meg & dia
- former glory > the hoodies
- the astronaut > the hoodies
- i am glass > the hoodies
- vanishings > secret and whisper
- spider besider > secret and whisper
- the kill > 30 secs to mars
- when did your heart go missing > rooney
- blueside > rooney
- amy says > flyleaf
- i'm sorry > flyleaf
- fully alive > flyleaf
- i'm so sick > flyleaf
- love hurts > incubus

there is no current inspiration now, i do not have anything to write for this week. but i cannot wait til Sunday comes coz I'll be watching the concert of Incubus. wupee!!! but the downside is i have no date for the said event. My mum would be my date and what would the outcome be? hmmm... i wonder, would i enjoy the concert with my mum who tagged along? let's see what happens this would be very interesting... hahaha....

ah another week passed and i am back to work again...

|| The Blind Date ||

2008-02-26T13:09:00.007+08:00

It was a Sunday afternoon and my real plan was to stay at home and finish reading "the picture of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde. then all of a sudden a friend of my mine called me and told that they have set me up to have a blind date later in the evening. oh geesh, what have they done this time??? he already knew that i hate blind dates especially if it's a guy that I'm going to have a date with. Men and I don't jive together... it'll only end up in a mess. So, despite the fact that i have already foreseen what's going to happen i said yes just to make him happy and not to be rude for that un-lucky guy.

So, i had to fix myself up...oh how i really tried to look presentable hahahaha.... i'll be meeting him around 5 pm somewhere in the metro. Moreover, it was a movie date gosh! i thought to myself; it's gonna be one of those cheap dates i have. but i said yes again, moving forward i arrived at the said meeting place 45 mins early so i decided to look around for other movie options. anyway, the guy texted me (sheesh, he's so cheap why can't he call to inform me that he's gonna be late) that he'll be late. i do get irked whenever someone tells me that he/she is gonna be late coz i hate to wait. i do not have the patience to wait for someone; alright i texted back. since i was at the movie house i was looking around to see what the other films were being shown and vola! i saw juno is already being shown . so i called the guy and informed him that juno's screen time would be at 5.30pm; the only reaction i got was " what's juno? what's its all about? and i already bought tickets for untraceable" gosh, the night would be a disaster. i just said that ellen page was the lead actress on that film and how would i know what the film is all about since i haven't seen it yet. i ended the call.

After 5 mins he texted me and said in all caps "YOU ARE SO FICKLE MINDED" what the??? what did he call me??? fickle minded? how did i became fickle minded? i just informed him about the film but i did not say that i wanted to watch it right now!!!! the nerve of that guy calling me like that. ok, i let it go coz i don't want to ruin the night; i tried to stay positive. so he was there, he's holding the tickets and said "i was here waiting for you for 5 mins? where have you been? i looked stupid waiting..." again!!! the nerve of this guy telling me that he was waiting there for 5 mins already? i informed him 45 mins ago that i already arrived at the movie house. take note: i was there 45 mins earlier than him and he's got the nerve to tell me that he looked stupid for waiting for 5 mins. wow, what have i gotten myself into this time? it's like i want to back out already. ok, enough of that... i apologized for being "late" and thanked him at the same time coz he bought the tickets. he asked what i wanted to drink, i said if there is mineral water i'd like to have one but unfortunately it is not available so i opted to have soda. then inside the movie house we went.

Inside the movie house, we were quiet. so i initiated the conversation and all he said was "i dunno... that's how the movie was written" wow, not even a sensible answer. the movie ended. i said to him that i wanted to go home already coz i was not feeling well ( i didn't feel well, coz the night was already ruined. it was a total disaster) he said fine and he didn't even bothered to ask if i wanted to eat before going home? what's with men? THEM AND THEIR BIG EGO'S!!!
to cut the story short, i ended up regretting the effort and time in meeting him then i cussed my friend for having a blind date that i didn't asked for.

The moral of the story, never to have blind dates again since i hate the ego. i hate boring conversations and lastly, no more men!!!! I'd rather be friends with them than try to have a "budding" relationship with them since in the first place i am not looking for someone right now.
moreover, i like chicks than dicks... hahaha....

In the Waiting Line

2008-02-18T19:18:00.003+08:00

I've reached half of 50, and a quarter of 100. i have lived 25 years of my life...i have existed 25 years and what were the things i did that i can be proud of? hmmm... should it be a continuous list of heartbreaks, failings and success stories but that would eventually bore you or even i would get bored.
I am just going to make this short but sweet. For the past years i have floated in my own fantasy land... during that time i never took things seriously, i always played around; took for granted everything that would be of good to me. Perceived life as my play ground... then a few days ago while i was drinking my tequila shots; it hit me. i am not getting any younger, i should plan something already... long term plans, i am no longer my parents' spoiled brat. It's just one of those things that woke me up to reality, that what i am seeing, hearing and experiencing was my reality that i cannot turn back time for the mistakes i have made. But instead the only remedy i can do right now is to think things first before making a mistake however, knowing myself. i like to take risks, i am the poster child of flexibility... so what come may. here's my wine glass...cheers and La Dolce Vita!!!

I'll be living life as it is... risks or without it...

|| It's Written in the Stars||

2008-02-11T13:56:00.000+08:00

I hate to be the one to cast a cloud on the upcoming celebration of overpriced roses, overcrowded Makati restaurants and hastily-bought jewelry that is Valentine's Day, but doesn't it seem that a record number of people around us these days are experiencing acrimony in their relationship. I've lost count of all the people, I know who have either broken up, taken a time out, or are spending more time apart than together over the past year. Moreover, when these people are together, they seem to be reserving the nastiest bits of rage and filth for each other. Lover's quarrels are definitely in the air this Valentine's Day, and it ain't just guilty - pleasure shows like Blind Date or the usual celebrity un-hook ups I'm talking about.

There is angst in the air - a vague but threatening sense of dissatisfaction - and it seems to be affecting relationships. People are no longer hiding their boy - girl, girl - girl or boy - boy disenchantment. They're putting it out there. Something (maybe it's the media!) is telling them 24/7 that "You should expect more", "You shouldn't settle" and "You can have it all". Apparently this creates problems, especially when both boys and girls want to act like grown -up babies.

Who knew that when people say " You're my sun, moon and stars" Nowadays, what they really mean is that. " Your celestial interference is making me want to slash your jugular vein with a letter opener"?

================================================

i remember catching fireflies with you
what happened to love at first
i sing my thoughts for tonight... maybe not tomorrow....
you said you had me at hello
you said you had me at goodbye...
she was all that she dreamed of
what happened to our fireworks tonight

isn't that what you wanted, what your asking for....

thoughts on the indie film "saving face"....

|| I am only CHASING safety...||

2008-02-04T17:01:00.000+08:00

what is there to ponder? about delusional relationship of my ghost and drinking to the past, toasting to the endless pain that has clouded me since then. I am reinventing my exit from my fantasy life...

when is the right time to say that it is over? do i have to wait for my savior to pull me from this quicksand of hate. i started from the end to the beginning.... i should run away, run away far from here. i have severed the ties that binded me to unselfish love..i won't suffer, be broken and stranded anymore. a new dawn has come and i am finally free.

I have chased safety, this is my way of not losing control of what i have left. the sound decisions that i have been trying to make, the promises that looked like lies... i want to be free so i am running away from here. no turning back... just run.....

=================================================
to chet: hehehehe i used your pic man coz it really suits the entry i have made. *_* bleh!

||Of pen and papers...||

2008-01-27T18:09:00.000+08:00

Alive at four in the morning, I cupped words and let them fall onto the pages, hoping that i could perfect the description of a toothy stranger I met down the street or justify the splendor of the rain that dropped like pick up sticks from the heavens. I paid attention to details and rummaged around for magic inherent in any occurring event. I looked at the sky a thousand ways, made up stories from observing the passengers boarding the MRT, cried too hard, laughed too loud, analyzed and sat on every rain and carried love as gigantic as the ocean. I succumbed to obsession and the awesome madness of grabbing life by the scruff of its neck and shaking it until all of its truths and treasures emerged out of its pocket.

Then, one day, the pain went away. It was as if I slid from the cocoon, dusted myself off and walked away from this emotional riot. It was the catharsis, I figured out. I wrote about it so many times that the pain had become no more than a concept, an old conversation piece, a writing material. Even when I was brooding over my failed relationship, I knew that I was going to make a beauty out of this disaster by writing it down. I knew that art was always larger than pain and more lasting than a moonlight kiss. But there would be times I would still get sad, especially at night when the whirring of the electric fan was more enthusiastic than the subdued thumping of my heart, when it would just be me, a blank computer screen and the memory of her steady hand.

Indeed, writing is an act of bravery, a self-flagellating experiment that and as I learned it first hand, it could be really lonely. But its a different kind of lonely --- its a beautiful kind of lonely.

A YEAR TO THE DAY!|| DAGGER RIGHT SMACK TO THE HEART|||

2008-01-21T13:22:00.000+08:00

watch me walk right through
leave all things behind
and we'll step out of time
the bright lights will surely take you far away from the misery

hear the stars singing for you....
watching you anxiously
all is well and all is good
hear the stars singing for you
the pictures that we shared above the fireplace
when your sleeping soundly in your bed
I'll sneak inside your head

hey there I'll meet you back right here
don't forget the place the first time we've met
if you love something you've got to let them go...

======================================================

i would never apologize to you since you were the reason why i ended this way
you practically ruined everything for me
i am fully alive now and I'm putting my dreaded smile for you
stronger than my pain since you have nothing else to say
go shoo!!!!

i do not think that something right would come out of your mouth
trust me you don't want to get hurt by the way i am bashing you right now.
i decided to write and release unwanted energy
you are the bad aura that constantly bugs me, haven't you noticed that i am no longer returning the emails, calls and text messages that you are sending me....

so go shoo!!! you are an eye sore!

|| MIRRORED IMAGE OF ME||

2008-01-14T15:27:00.000+08:00

What has surpassed this past few days... i don't know, in this strange day. I've been pondering haven't i been truthful to myself? my thoughts have been the dark stain from my head that i cannot remove.

"Can you please stop the plane and turn back, don't you fly too far away from me. it's not too late for you to become my magic star. "

Have i lost you again? for the nth time, the fluidity of words were not there to explain things in the out most way that you wanted to hear from my mouth. Was it the truth or the lie that captured my attention towards you?

You are the Anais Nin, that i never thought you would ever become. It radically changed you, the minutes spent was wasted to petty and non - argumentative fights. This has become so tad boring, would you agree to this? Oh i am sure you will, you have been my avid fan for god knows since... the fascination never dies, the SUPASTAR that you are...

New Year Crap....

2008-01-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

Would you believe that I got sick first day of the Year '08! Argh! just the thought of it makes me want to puke...

is this bad juju for this 2008?... i hope not....

====================

on a lighter note:
i had my weekly dose of jeff buckley music...

my former accountmates are slowly taking over the new account.... WELCOME FORMER EARTHLINK EMPLOYEES....

hahaha.....

||Let's Have a Blast||

2007-12-30T19:51:00.000+08:00

While I'm splurging my pay here in Batangas, I'm thinking about you now and the things you told me yesterday afternoon... why do i feel like I'm caught in a predicament that i can't seem to get out of?

What changed your mind, i really want to know the reason/s... or maybe this is bull crap? why do you have to comeback after 3 years? you got me confused, all of a sudden i feel like I'm going back to the things i hated the most. The reason i never tried to be in a relationship again was you making me feel like I'm useless or never somebody's worth.

I want you to think about this since I'm having doubts in all of these. You can't bribe me with things or for your time, i never asked this to happen. I never asked you to do this. You made things happen between the two of us... Are you not afraid that i may not return the feelings that you are showing now??? I am not the same person you used to know before...

====================

on a lighter note:

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!! another year has passed, i am blessed with the things and opportunities that i have right now. I am thankful for the people around me, showing me love and support all throughout my endeavors.
Let's cross our fingers that this continue for the longest time ever!!! ^_^

Cheers to 2008!!!! oh by the way, this would be my first time to celebrate my New Year in the office.... wahaha.....

Merry "HUm"Bug to ALL!!!!

2007-12-24T19:03:00.000+08:00

i just realized when i woke up this morning that today was already the 24th of December. In addition, i haven't thought of what i'm going to cook for Christmas eve....

anyway, i think i'll grill some BB-Q that my dad has bought and gambas....

hahaha... i completely forgot, there is red wine waiting for me calling me...

-------------

Merry Xmas to All!!!

------------

* i'm not in the mood to celebrate coz this feels like an ordinary day for me... ^_^

It's A Good Hurt

2007-11-26T16:19:00.000+08:00

Do you think what we have right now would transcend to something beautiful?

We just went out to have coffee, that's all right? No more hang ups about what we have from the past? I have moved on, no more feelings or whatsoever that I could give to you? (Or is that what I think?)

Coffee has intoxicated me last night that somehow i forgot that i am not in a commitment anymore that what we had was a thing of the past. The cigarette smokes might have blinded me in believing that we could be something again. But what got me was you insisting that I am yours and never to leave me again as you did before...

I think this is a Good Hurt...More of "Friends With Benefits" why not have this instead? I think things would work out this way rather than ending up in hurting ourselves with indiscretion and unfaithfulness..

oh you know who you are....

From First to Last

2007-11-19T15:50:00.000+08:00

your my beautiful lie and i can hardly grasp you...
i can never kiss your sultry lips as i used to before
the lucid interval that i am experiencing would never cease
You never cease to exist in my mind...
For a chance, i never got why do you linger?
your breaking me down, cutting me with that scalpel
Cooing me like a baby, you missed me that i can see
but would this make me happy?

the drum rolls like my heart as it beats
my mind floating in the eternal mist of daydreaming
this thoughts have been built deep inside
kindly make me turn the switch on as i need light
light that would kill the darkness that i am in right now....
from first to last was this a dream?

----------
*beep beep*

first day of training and i have no sleep screw my trainer/s
to hell i care about the new account! hahahaha

grumpy as i can be....

Is the color of the sky really blue?

2007-11-11T18:25:00.001+08:00

i can never express what I feel
dumbfounded and no where else to go
like a little child that lost it's way
i need to get and break free if not now then when?

should i be seeing the sky gray?
dark clouds encircling around my head...
needless to say...

Oscar Wilde is a WILDman....

2007-10-30T16:27:00.000+08:00

"The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast."
-- “Lord Arthur Savile's Crime”

--->>>> this is my playground, the world has become my playground. this is exceptionally true since i am not taking things seriously.
relationships scares me....being single is a pure and crystallized form of disaster and i am stuck in it forever ( hmmm ....as what i perceive)
this is my tragic comedy and i am the jester, playing wit fully as if the king was never there to see what I'm doing...

"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about, nowadays, saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."
-- “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

------>>>>> is it really hard to tell the other person the truth?
why pretend? are we masking the reality?
honesty has always been there? but the word itself is despised by the people who doesn't want to accept the truth? why back stab?
would talking behind people's back an accomplishment? ...
why is this an open- ended question?

this are senseless thoughts... my ethereal madness... my world....

mood for the day:

can't sleep so I'm feeling cranky today....

This is not Goodbye....

2007-10-21T20:38:00.000+08:00

2 months and a half have already passed.... guys even if we didn't look good in this picture. I am proud to belong in this exquisite bunch of people. Never had i expected that we would jive as a group and never had i expected that i found another family, i found comfort and long - lasting friendships. There had been shortcomings amongst us but even so, we tried to work things out in a mature and civil way.

this is it....our BBIS batch now has been officially distributed to their assigned "new" accounts/homes. Since our interims would be different from one another...hmmmm... would we still have hang out moments? waaaah... *sniff*

As i said before, maiingit silang lahat kasi wala silang:

Ernie aka Tito Boy - hahaha...i thought that you were straight but then i again i was wrong. My "gay-dar" was out of service during that time. Oh by the way, since your in another account do your matrix thingy alright? bagay un sa expedia.

Mitzi aka The RN - yeah, she recently passed her RN board exams...woot! and why don't we take our CPA board exams as well? ^_^ tahimik pero pag nakilala mo na lumalabas na ang kulo. ^_^ cya around my account mate

Astrid aka Mastermind - first impressions does not last. at first you'll think that she is quiet... hold on to your seats, no she is not. she's just observing you and if she likes you as a friend then that's the time she'll make you laugh like there's no tomorrow. ^_^
hahaha...mga gifted children kau ni chet kasi nasa NSI kau. html basics man. GL!

I'll continue this some other day....i still got 4 more people to go...

---------------------------------------------------------
Today is another day oh, where did I stopped?

Spencer aka The Sandman - i think you already know why we call him the sandman, i can't help myself from falling asleep also when he's my seat mate. seems like he has a sleeping powder with him all the time. but he's not sleeping all the time. this happened during our training days. Well, basically spence is the only guy in our batch. (sorry ernie, you said that you were always a "girl" ). magic cards is what occupies his time right now... pero dude, sa DOTA babawi ako...alright?

Sars aka Viral Disease/Clairvoyant - she was the first one I met during our NHO days. Funny, crazy and scary at most times coz you don't know if she's reading your mind already. Thanks ngapala sa pag laglag mo sa akin nung nag pa hula ako. ^_^ nah, just joking... well, what can I say? account mate see yah later... let's have a fun shift!

hmmmmm....i'm feeling lazy now....i'll continue this some other time....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Last but not the least

Nestle aka The Hot Mama - yes, her name is Nestle just like the brand. Since her name pertains to the series of food products that this company offers. She is sweet, very thoughtful and of course she is hot. For a someone who's already married she doesn't look like she has a kid. My bus mate, since we're from the same area well almost from the same area wala kaming ginawa kung di matulog pag nasa bus. Very mum - like kasi maasikaso and ok kasama. Girl, do take care of yourself kasi your pregnant esp the baby. ^_^
I'm just here ok? kaya madali mo lang ako mahagilap. take care girl!

Chet aka The Heartthrob - dude? anu nga bang meron ka at lahat sila nabigahani mo? Oh hell yeah, you'll know that chet is around by the boisterous laughter that she has and that cologne that she uses. I am one of her cohorts in her "small" crime. Yes dude, aabangan natin si AZA since almost the same time din tayo ng out from work. Kaya do your charm alright? and about our band thing....bahala na si bathala alright? You and Astrid will do fine sa NSI don't you worry dude...